Grasping Darkness, Hungry Light
by KiyaRaven
Summary: I'd lived in the darkness for so long, I was afraid the light would blind me. But she was there. By my side. And she taught me how to live again. *Sequel to Grasping Darkness.*
1. Chapter 1

**Update: December 16th, 2012**

**Okay, so please don't faint, but yes, this is the epilogue to Grasping Darkness. Well, it started as an epilogue and has actually turned into a ... ahem ... mini sequel. I'm estimating 10 short chaps. Most of it is already written and I'll update weekly on a Saturday/Sunday.**

**As usual, enormous thanks go to my amazing beta, Irritable_Grizzzly, and my fabulous pre-reader, Vican.**

**The usual disclaimers apply.**

**Considering it's been a million years since the fic wrapped, you *may* want to re-read the last couple of chaps before continuing. If you remember all the details, by all mean, read on.**

**WindowWard has missed you. :)**

* * *

**New Light**

It'd been so long since I'd dreamed, it felt like I'd forgotten how. My subconscious swirled through a myriad of locations from my past - Chicago, Alaska, Brazil, Italy. Through it all, images flashed and expanded, some lasting only a second, others unfolding over long minutes. Images of my life, both human and vampire. My family. A Labrador I'd forgotten we'd owned when I was fifteen.

Then the blood appeared, coating everything. Dripping from the bodies of my dead parents. Filling the eyes of the thousands of victims I'd claimed during my existence.

I was filled with horror as I looked around the vast dreamscape, and every corner overflowed with corpses. Relics from my hunger and arrogance, vacant and staring. Empty shells whose very lifelessness mocked and accused me. Whispered the word 'murderer' as they gazed at me with glassy, inconsolable stares.

When I looked down, I saw the blood rising like a flood, covering my ankles, my knees, passing over my thighs and hips, until I was drowning in it. I tried to push my head up, but it sluiced into my mouth and nostrils, choking me. I begged for it to stop, but I was alone, and the corpses around me rotted at an accelerated pace as their decomposing lips pulled back to reveal grotesque smiles.

The dead reveled in my torment. Wanted me to drown in it.

_"Edward ... sshhhh. It's okay. Everything's okay. I'm here. You're fine."_

Her voice. Beautiful. Soothing. Dragging me out of the blood. Back to my humanity. Letting me breathe again. Touching me with warm, reverent fingers. Whispering of her love.

At last making me feel worthy of it.

Then the faces of my victims flashed through my mind, one by one. They exploded into my vision, one second, bright and vibrant, the next, pale and cloudy. Fading. Dissipating like the ghosts they were. Finding peace in the mind in which they'd caused so much self-hate. Retreating in significance along with the bloodlust which had forced me to take their lives.

I mourned each one as they left, knowing I could never escape their legacy, but finally ready to let go of the guilt in which I'd shrouded them.

They were my past.

She was my future.

When the last face faded from view, the dreamscape was clean again, untainted by blood and death. A fresh canvas on which to paint a new lifetime of memories.

With her.

...

...

...

I awoke to pain. Sharp needles spinning through my newly organic muscles every time I moved.

Still, it didn't stop me marveling that I'd slept. Truly slept.

My dreams had been bizarre and nightmarish, but simply knowing I'd dreamed was beyond exhilarating.

I was human.

Incredible.

Everything felt different. I lay there for long minutes, just feeling. Celebrating how different I was.

My senses, my skin, the gentle expansion of my lungs, the strong thud of my heart.

It was astounding.

How ironic that the blood of my mortal enemy would ultimately offer me improbable salvation. My unlikely second chance.

I felt warm breath on my skin and opened my eyes.

My arm was around Isabella, and her head was on my chest. Her ear was pressed firmly to the place where my heartbeat was loudest. We were in my bed, in the basement. The same basement I'd entered a day and a half ago as a vampire.

Bella was sleeping peacefully, one leg draped over my thigh and an arm thrown over my stomach, the front of her body pressed to my side, warm and pliant.

So beautiful.

I gently kissed her forehead and tightened my arm around her. She stirred but didn't wake. Instead she snuggled herself against me as a look of contentment settled on her flared inside me, but it took a few moments to fully understand that it wasn't searing bloodlust in reaction to her sweet scent. The absence of clawing hunger and tides of venom was completely alien to me.

Unnatural.

My whole relationship with Isabella had danced on a knife-edge of violent compulsion versus tenuous control. That I no longer had to worry about that ... about hurting her ...

_Amazing._

I inhaled again and pushed my nose into her hair.

_Nothing._

Well, not nothing. I did have a painful urge to immediately be inside her, but certainly no desire to kill her.

If there was ever proof of an unworthy soul being given a chance at redemption, my being with her like this, as a man ... as her _equal_, was certainly it. I wrapped my arms around her and sighed, content to let sleep drag me under again.

This time when I dreamed, there was no blood. There was only her.

...

...

...

The next time I awoke, it was to see Bella gazing down at me as she gently ran her fingertips over the blue veins on my bicep, a look of complete awe on her face.

"Wow," she whispered.

I cleared my throat, and she looked up in surprise.

"Good morning," I said, my voice a little rough. "And thank you. My bicep appreciates your approval."

I pulled her forward and angled my head so I could kiss her. I was astounded by how she felt under my new lips. Everything was heightened. I was dizzy from the power of it. I never really understood Bella pulling back from our kisses before, out of breath and gasping, but I understood it now. Kissing her made me oblivious to everything but her lips and warm tongue. Even the essential act of breathing took a backseat to her mouth moving with mine.

This time when she pulled back, we were both breathless. She smiled and wrapped her hand around my arm then stroked it as she bent to kiss my shoulder.

"Oh, I more than approve of your bicep," she said and rested her chin on her hand. "In fact, all of your new muscles get extra-special bonus points."

I frowned. "New muscles?"

She smiled wider. "You haven't seen your new self in a mirror, have you?"

"No."

"Oh, you're in for a treat."

I looked down at my body. I was shirtless and wearing boxer-briefs, and although I didn't usually spend a great deal of time looking at myself from this angle, it was clear my body had changed.

"Well, that's ... interesting."

My muscles were definitely more defined. Fuller. Judging by the way Bella was touching them, she approved.

I was a little perplexed. "Sweetheart, I don't want to alarm you, but Jacob's blood is full of steroids."

Bella laughed and ran her fingers down my chest. Then she slowed as she traced the grooves around my abdominals. I fought the urge to laugh. Apparently human-me was ticklish.

"Yes, well, he did transform from a scrawny kid into a seven-foot-tall buff-beast almost overnight last summer. But he's too big."

"You're talking about his muscles above the waist, right? Because I'm pretty sure that below, I have the advantage."

She smiled. "Well, I haven't seen things below your waist for a while. I can barely remember."

The way she looked at me made my skin hot. "Isabella, we made love about thirty-four hours ago. The night before the change."

"Really?" She trailed a finger down my chest. "I could have sworn it was longer."

"Is that what you used to say about Jacob's penis? Don't feel bad. I understand."

She laughed. "Hey, don't be hard on him. His blood allowed all of ... " she gestured to my body, "... this to happen. And for that I'll always be eternally grateful. I mean, look at you. I can't stop staring. It's unbelievable. As an immortal, you were stunning. As a human, you're … Is there a word that means beyond stunning?"

"Yes. 'Isabella.'"

She smiled and sat up to get a better look at me. Luckily, it also allowed me to get a better look at her.

She'd changed too.

During the night she must have put on pajamas. She was wearing a tight tank top and tantalizingly brief sleep shorts. Although I'd noticed my vision wasn't quite as heightened as it once was, it was still well and truly capable of ogling the full curve of her ass cheek and detecting a shadow of nipple through her top. Like the incurable letch I was, I couldn't look away.

My body's reaction was immediate and painful.

"Edward?"

"Hmmmm?"

"How's your pain this morning?"

The rush of blood to my groin was steadily increasing. "Getting worse every second."

"Is it your ..." she lowered her voice, "... erection?"

Just hearing her say the word made it worse. "God ... yes. Ow."

What a cruel side-effect of the change. I spent about ninety-five percent of my time around Isabella being at least partially aroused. If becoming hard continued to be this agonizing, it was going to get old very quickly.

"Well, if it's a problem, you might want to stop staring at my boobs."

"No."

The pain was becoming unbearable, and still I ogled her. Obviously I wasn't happy unless I was being tortured in one way or another.

"Edward -"

"Isabella, no. I'm finally able to ogle your chest instead of your throat. Let me savor this."

I couldn't keep the tension out my voice, so I guess she decided to take matters into her own hands. Without warning, she pulled the sheet up so only her eyes and the top of her head were visible.

"Isabella -"

"No, I'm cutting you off."

"I'm fine."

"You're not."

"Just show me one."

"No! I can see how much pain you're in. Do you want me to get Carlisle? Do you need drugs?"

I flopped back onto the bed, hard as a rock and beyond frustrated. "No. I need this pain to go away so I can have _you_. That's what I need." The ache was excruciating. It felt like my erection was being maintained with spinning razor blades instead of pulsing blood.

I closed my eyes and exhaled, trying to breathe through the agony as I accepted that looking at Bella's stunning breasts might not be the best idea right now.

Carlisle must have been listening from upstairs, because within a few seconds he was beside me, asking permission to give me pain relief. At Bella's urging, I grudgingly accepted.

He gave me an injection in my thigh, and within a few minutes my eyes were drooping as a hazy euphoria washed over me.

Isabella stroked my face, and I gazed up at her, smiling blearily.

"You're so bewful," I said and pulled her against me. "Love you."

She kissed me as my eyes closed all by themselves.

"You're bewful too. And I love you more. See you when you wake up."

...

...

...

I was dreaming of heaven. Isabella was there, naked and magnificent, walking toward me with a look of pure hunger on her face.

When she reached me, she put her hands on my chest and grazed her fingers over it, waking up every freshly animated cell and neurone, making them all want her in a new, powerful way.

I clenched my fists, willing them to stay at my side. It was too dangerous to touch her. My strength. My teeth. I'd hurt her.

Then she shoved me and threw me dozens of yards backwards. I landed with a thump on my back, surprised and winded. Before I had time to breathe, she was on me. Her long thighs squeezed my hips as she bent over to lick my neck.

"No more being careful," she said in a voice that would broach no argument. "You can't break me any more. But still, I dare you try."

Her words instantly inflamed me, and I shoved my nose into her neck. She smelled like food. Different food. Wetness flooded my mouth, but it didn't burn.

"You're drooling," she said, raking her nails over my chest as she ground herself onto my erection.

I trailed my nose over her throat, simultaneously inhaling and swallowing the excess saliva. "That's because you smell delicious."

Everything hurt. I didn't care. My cock felt like it was on fire. I reveled in the burn.

"Edward?"

"Hmmmm." I couldn't find enough of her skin. I was pulling at her clothes, trying to get my hands underneath.

"Are you hungry?"

"God, yes."

She shook my shoulder. I groaned and grabbed for her again. I cupped her breast and pulled her closer, so I could kiss it.

"Edward!"

I opened my eyes to find Isabella in my arms, trying to remove my hand from her breast as my mother waited patiently with a tray of food. Esme raised an eyebrow. I immediately pulled the covers over my crotch and ceased groping my girlfriend.

"Good dream, sweetheart?" Esme asked.

I swallowed the saliva still flooding my mouth and nodded. "Yep. Pretty good."

"Lunch?"

"Thanks."

She placed the tray in front of me and tried to stop the smile that was creeping onto her face.

"I'll just leave you to it then. Lunch, I mean. Not sex. Although if you wanted to do that, too -""

I rubbed my eyes. "Esme ... please."

She stifled a laugh and disappeared up the stairs. I exhaled and looked at Bella.

"Exactly how long was I groping your breasts with my mother in the room?"

"Not long. About a minute and a half."

"Dear God."

At least Esme's presence had relieved the pressure in my groin. However, my face was an entirely different matter.

"Bella, something's wrong. My skin is burning."

"That's called blushing."

"Really? This is what it feels like? It's off-putting and uncomfortable."

"Welcome to my world."

"How do you stand it?"

"You get used to it."

I pressed my hands against my face. I'm pretty sure I could have fried food on it. "I don't really want to."

"Then maybe in the future you should avoid copping a feel in front of your mother."

"Duly noted."

The scent of the food set my salivary glands off again. I eyed the simple soup and swallowed to avoid drooling.

"Oh, the way you're looking at that bowl," Bella said, a slight groan in her voice. "It's wrong that I'm jealous of soup, isn't it?"

I scooped some of the liquid into my mouth and swallowed. "Isabella, as far as I'm concerned, you have nothing to be jealous of. Ever."

She sighed. "Yeah, well, the wolf pack keeps going on about how amazing Esme's food is. Jacob says it's the best thing he's ever put in his mouth."

I almost dropped my spoon.

I turned to her as heat rose just below my stomach. "That's because Jacob is an idiot who never took the time to please you orally. I, however, am not an idiot, and I can safely say that no matter how delicious Esme's food it, _you_ will always, and forever, be the best thing I've ever had on my tongue."

This time it was her turn to blush.

I ate the rest of my soup in smug triumph.

...

...

...

* * *

**If you have a moment to share your thoughts, it would make WindowWard painfully hard.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Kiya x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Update: December 23rd, 2012**

**Yadda yadda yadda, disclaimer etc.**

**Amazing people whom I love: Irritable_Grizzzly, Vican**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**First Steps**

The first time I got out of bed, I thought I'd pass out from the pain. Every time a muscle contracted, it sent stabbing agony through to my spine. Carlisle offered me his arm and encouraged me to walk the length of the basement. He might has well have asked me to give up looking at Isabella's breasts.

I got as far as the bathroom door before I slumped against the wall, exhausted.

"This is ridiculous," I said, wheezing.

"You're doing well."

"No, I'm not. I used to be able to run without ever getting tired. Now I can't walk a few yards without feeling like I need a wheelchair."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're a dead man come back to life. A little discomfort is to be expected."

I glared at him. Discomfort was sitting on a lumpy couch. This was ripping, breath-stealing agony.

"We should keep moving," he said and urged me away from the wall.

"You should keep moving," I said, batting his hands away. "I'm never moving again."

"Your muscles will get used to it, son. Stretching them is important. The pain should lessen the more we move."

I pushed off the wall and continued my geriatric shuffling. "It'd better."

...

...

...

Twenty minutes later, the pain was more bearable, but now I had a different problem.

I stood in front of the toilet, and a constant pressure in my lower abdomen insisted I had to urinate. For some reason, a strange nervousness twisted in my gut.

My father stood beside me, quiet and patient.

"Do you ... remember ... how to ...?" He gestured to the porcelain bowl.

"I think so." I had no idea. Regardless, I wasn't going to admit that to him.

He gently patted my shoulder. "All right then, I'll leave you to it. Call out if you need anything."

I had no idea what I could possibly need while urinating, but I still nodded. "Sure."

He closed the door behind him, and I stared at the toilet, anxious about my first waste expulsion as a born-again human. Would it hurt? What if I didn't work properly? This was the first big test of my new humanity, and I wanted it to go well.

_It's urinating, Cullen, not an exam. Stop procrastinating and do it._

The growing pressure agreed.

I shifted from one foot to the other and wished it away so I could postpone it as long as possible. Unfortunately, I only succeeded in making it more urgent.

"Dammit."

With a sigh of resignation I pulled myself from my boxers and aimed deep into the bowl.

Nothing happened.

_Okay. What do I do now?_

I jiggled my penis, urging it to urinate, which is completely ridiculous considering it has absolutely no sentient control over my bladder. I had two medical degrees. I knew this. And still I continued to do it before muttering obscenities under my breath when it completely failed to yield results.

"Son?" Carlisle's voice was right outside the door. "Everything okay?"

"Fine," I said and jiggled again. "Just ... fine."

I gritted my teeth as the pressure became uncomfortable, and I wracked my brain to try and remember how I used to do it. I mean, before I was turned, I had seventeen years of effortless urination. Surely some part of me remembered how.

I widened my stance, trying to appear confident and assured. My bladder wasn't buying it. The discomfort increased. Now, it bordered on painful.

"Son?"

"Dammit, Carlisle, I'm fine!"

He paused before saying, "You might want to turn on the tap. Sometimes hearing running water helps."

I dropped my head back and sighed. At this point, I was willing to try anything.

I leaned over and turned on the faucet then closed my eyes to concentrate on the sound. It did make my desire to urinate increase, but still nothing happened.

_Great. I'm a reverse-incontinent._

"Edward?"

_Bella._

"Do you need help?"

I most certainly didn't need Isabella in here with me. One thing I remembered from my previous time as a human was that it was almost impossible to urinate with an erection, and if she came within three feet of my penis, that was pretty much a forgone conclusion.

"I'm okay," I said, trying to sound like the pressure of my bladder wasn't choking me. "Just give me a few minutes."

"You just have to let go," she said, her voice quieter. "Don't try too hard. Just relax."

Even hearing her voice was causing an unwanted stiffness, but her words made sense, so I tried to relax as I listened to the running water. I visualized letting go of the tension in my inner muscles.

_Come on, Edward. You can do this. Let go. Let go. Let go._

For a moment, all my muscles tightened even more, and I stopped breathing as a huge lance of pain pierced my abdomen. But then, miraculously, the floodgates opened, and I moaned in satisfaction as the urine poured out of me.

"Ohhhhh, God, yes."

It was indescribably good.

The pleasure that accompanied my urination was powerful, and as I continued to empty my bladder, I heard a light round of applause from the other side of the door.

Eventually, I ran dry, so I finished up, flushed, and washed my hands, proud and satisfied.

When I shuffled painfully from the bathroom, my entire family was in a line holding up score cards. Bella stood beside them, shaking her head in disapproval but unable to hide her smile.

Carlisle and Esme had given me tens. Jasper a nine, Rose and Emmett, eights. Alice was just holding a card with an enormous smiley face next to a toilet.

I had to laugh.

Unfortunately, laughing was extremely painful.

...

..

...

Her lips were like silk. Were they always this soft? Or could I just feel them better now?

As I kissed her more deeply, she wrapped her fingers in my hair. That drove me even crazier, and I tried to ignore the stabbing pain in my groin as I pulled her against me.

"Ow. Edward."

"No, it's okay," I said as I kissed her jaw. "I'm all right."

"No," she said before pulling back and rubbing her face. "Ow for me."

I stopped. A bright red rash was spreading under her nose and down her chin. It looked painful.

"What the hell is that? Should I call Carlisle?"

She pressed her fingers against the angry skin and smiled. "It's scruff-burn. Apparently human-you has an incredibly thick beard. It's like being exfoliated by thousands of tiny needles."

I ran my fingers across my chin and upper lip. They were rather rough. "I'm sorry. I had no idea."

She motioned to the bathroom. "It's easily fixed, if you can cope with taking a walk."

_More walking? Hell, no._

She kissed me and ran her fingers through my hair. She knew I couldn't argue when she did that.

"Come on," she said and helped me to my feet. "It's time for you to get out of bed anyway. Plus, you need to learn how to shave some time."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and hobbled to the bathroom. She opened the cabinet, took out shaving cream, and held up a razor. "Have you ever used one of these?"

"No, but I'm familiar with the concept. You don't live for as long as I have without seeing innumerable television commercials. I understand using the correct brand of razor not only makes you better at sports, but it can make you more attractive to the opposite sex."

"Well," she said and put her hand on my chest, "you don't need any help in that department. If you get any more attractive, I'm going to have to rethink wearing underwear altogether."

I slid my hand over the waistband of her shorts to the swell of her buttock. "I fully support that initiative. The only thing better than the sight of you in panties, is the sight of you out of them."

She shook her head and pressed against me. "Stop making me want to kiss you. It hurts too much."

I ran my fingers over the skin around her lips. "Actually, you're looking much better."

She turned to look at herself in the mirror. "Huh. You're right. I could get used to this accelerated healing thing."

"I guess wolf blood has its advantages. Does this mean I don't have to shave in order to keep kissing you?"

"No. Fast healing doesn't mean your scruff doesn't hurt like hell."

"Well, we can't have that. "

I picked up the shaving cream and read the instructions. Seemed easy enough. Bella giggled and took the can from me. Then she wrapped her hands around my neck and pressed her body gently against me. I swallowed while trying to temper my arousal. Imagining Esme was in the room helped a little.

"Have you never shaved before?" she said as she ran her fingers across my jaw.

"Of course I have. I started shaving when I was fourteen, but the paraphernalia was a little different in my day. You had to mix soap flakes in a cup to make foam, then you took your life in your hands by pressing a finely honed straight razor against your throat."

"Sounds dangerous."

"It was."

"Did you ever cut yourself?"

"Once or twice. But I did manage to avoid all major arteries."

"Yes, well, this is a safety razor. It's supposed to be nearly impossible to cut yourself."

"'Nearly impossible' implies some element of definite possibility."

"Yeah, well, as most girls will tell you, they can still take a huge chunk out of your ankles and shins. And let me tell you, nothing bleeds as much as a razor cut."

Isabella talking about blood elicited a habitual shudder, but it took me a moment to realize I wasn't burning with bloodlust. I smiled.

She tilted her head. "What?"

"Nothing. Just enjoying not wanting to kill you."

"Aw, me too."

We looked at each other for long seconds. Specifically at each other's lips. I had a desperate urge to kiss her, but we had to banish my facial scruff first.

"Shall I shave now?"

"Yes, please. Would you like me to help?"

At that moment, there were so many things I wanted her help with.

I ran my nose along her throat. "Would that keep you in here with me?"

"Yes."

"Then, by all means, please help me shave."

She gave me a grin and ordered me to pull off my shirt. After taking a moment to ogle my new physique, she gestured for me to sit on the closed toilet while she stood between my legs. In hindsight, it wasn't the most prudent position to avoid becoming aroused, because her breasts were right in front of my face. Still, I did my best not to stare.

Of course, I failed. Her breasts were far too beautiful to ignore. They all but demanded attention, and I was happy to give it.

She ran some water into the basin then wet her fingers and rubbed them over my jaw and mouth. I didn't miss how she teased my lips for longer than was necessary. Frowning in concentration, she squirted some foam onto her hands and smeared it across my whiskers. The sensation was odd but pleasant. The foam smelled good. Having it applied by the woman I loved was a bonus.

Isabella proceeded to shave me, starting with my cheeks and moving down to my jaw. The scrape of the razor across my skin was somewhat ticklish, but as I watched her lick her lips in concentration, I was hardly laughing.

I sought out the backs of her knees and grazed my fingertips up to the hem of her shorts then back down.

She stopped shaving and shivered before tightening her hand on my shoulder. "I said it was nearly impossible to cut you with this. Are you trying to test that theory?"

"No. I just need to touch you."

She shook her head and stepped away from me so she could rinse the razor. When she stepped between my legs again, I returned my hands to the backs of her legs. She tilted my head to the side so she could get to the area near my ear, and she swallowed several times in quick succession.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm?"

"You okay?"

"Yep."

Her voice was tight. She was definitely not okay.

She maneuvered the razor along my jaw then started on my chin. I tilted it up to give her better access.

I absently played with the hem of her shorts, and she frowned.

"Edward ..."

"What?"

"You're distracting me."

"I'm not doing anything."

She sighed and tilted my head to the opposite side. She had to bend sideways to get to the base of my neck, so I decided to help her by pulling her down to straddle me.

She gripped my shoulder, not aware of how strong she was now. I exhaled and pulled her more securely on to me.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I thought it would be easier for you to shave my neck from this position."

"Easier?"

"Yes."

"Edward, I can barely function when I'm in an enclosed space with you. Do you think making me straddle you is going to help my concentration?"

I cupped her buttocks and squeezed. "You just need to scrape a razor over my skin. How much concentration do you need?"

She gave me a look but didn't climb off. I was quietly triumphant as she pushed up my chin and went to work on the area just below my jaw. I stared at the ceiling while stroking her back and arms. I loved her skin. So soft. It felt completely different now. Smoother. Even more addictive. I struggled to keep my touches light when all I wanted to do was tear off her clothes and be rough.

If she noticed my tenuous restraint, she didn't mention it. She occasionally tensed and shuddered in reaction to my touch but didn't ask me to stop. As if I would. Or could.

Finally she tilted my head down to shave my mustache, and I pulled down my top lip to enable her to get under my nose.

She smiled. "There's a face I've never seen you make before."

"Hmmm?"

"Pulling your lip over your teeth. In case you've forgotten, you used to snarl a lot. Especially when you were hungry. Or when Jacob was around."

She finished and stood to grab a towel. Then she wiped off the last of the shaving cream. I ran my hand over my skin. She'd done a good job. Silky smooth.

"I did not snarl," I said as I got up to inspect her work in the mirror. "I may have growled on occasion, but that's a perfectly acceptable vampire trait. All the cool vampires were doing it."

She laughed. "Oh, you growled, all right, but you also snarled. Pulled back your lips, showed your shiny, sharp teeth and everything. It was kind of hot."

I wiped my face again and threw the towel into the hamper then leaned back on the vanity and crossed my arms. I was pretty sure I didn't flinch from the pain.

"Kind of hot?"

Her face dropped. "Okay, it was definitely hot. Don't you dare mock me."

"Wouldn't dream of it. But I'm curious, what was it like when I snarled?"

She shrugged. "It was ... kind of ..." She pulled back her lips and made a sound. It was surprisingly deep and animalistic.

"Bella ..."

Her mouth dropped open. "What the hell did I just do?"

I laughed. "You snarled. And rather impressively, I might add. Do it again."

She repeated the snarl, and it was even more bestial.

Jesus. Kind of hot? I just went from semi to fully hard in about half a second.

She covered her mouth in embarrassment. "Oh, no."

"Bella, it's okay."

"No, it's not. That's just weird."

"I'm sure it has something to do with the wolf-blood. After all, you're half dog now."

"What does that even mean? I thought Carlisle said we couldn't become wolves."

"We can't. We lack the shape-shifting gene. But that doesn't mean we won't exhibit other animalistic traits."

"Oh ... wow."

I grabbed her hips and pulled her against me. The need to be inside her flared along with my pain. I also felt the need to bite her, but in a completely different way. I turned her around so she was facing the mirror and ground myself against her.

"Do do you even realize how sexy you are to me right now? All I want to do is bend you over that sink and fuck you roughly." Bella's expression turned ravenous, and I cringed as a stabbing pain shot from my erection up into my abdomen. "And now you have to get out of here before one of us does something stupid which would result in me screaming in a very unmanly manner."

"You're in pain?"

_Oh, dear God, make it stop._

"A little."

_Do not whimper. Do not whimper._

"I wish I could help."

"Me too."

"I don't suppose you could ..." She mimed masturbation, and just seeing the way her hand curled made me want it on me. I was tempted to ask her to touch me, just to see how much I could endure, but the lightning bolt that traveled from my scrotum to my spine had other ideas.

"Dammit." I groaned as I leaned on the sink. "At this rate, I'm never orgasming again."

"Yes, you will," she said while stroking my face. "Just give it time."

She kissed me softly and pulled back with a sigh. "Go shower. I'll use Alice's bathroom."

She gave me a peck on the lips and exited. I leaned on the vanity, waiting for the pain to subside. I was beyond frustrated. All I wanted was to be pain-free and buried deep within my life-mate. Was that too much to ask?

Grudgingly, I removed my boxers and turned on the shower. It took me a moment to realize I couldn't just use hot water any more.

When I'd managed an acceptable temperature, I stepped under the spray and groaned in relief. The warm water soothed my aching muscles, even the one still jutting proudly from my groin. I wrapped my hand around it while considering the possibility that powering through the pain may actually offer me relief. However, several gentle pumps proved that notion to be optimism of the highest order. While there was pleasure, it was drowned out by excruciating pain.

I pressed my forehead against the tiles and let the water work its magic. It only took half an hour for my erection to subside, and even then, my ache for Isabella didn't completely disappear.

...

...

...

* * *

**Merry Christmas to all of my amazing readers and friends. Hope you have wonderful food, great company, and all the joy you deserve.**

**See you next weekend.**

**If you have a chance to let me know your thoughts, I'd truly appreciate it.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Kiya x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Update: December 30th, 2012**

**Huge thanks to my amazing beta-Goddess, Irritable_Grizzzly, and my incredible pre-reader, Vican.**

* * *

**Testing Limits**

Carlisle was nothing if not thorough. And keen.

After the change he was champing at the bit to run all sorts of tests on my new body, and considering we had so much to learn, I could hardly not approve his request to run a full check of my vitals.

So, I sat shirtless on the examination bench as he slipped an inflatable blood pressure cuff onto my arm and pushed a button.

The cuff inflated to the point of pain, and I flexed my bicep in response. The plastic promptly ruptured and deflated.

Carlisle stared at the broken cuff and blinked. "Well, that was unexpected. Remind me to never anger your bicep again."

"Sorry. It hurt."

"No matter. I still got a reading." He wrote on his clipboard and frowned. "Hmmm."

"What does that mean?"

He composed his face into his 'professional' mode and gave me the world's most insincere smile. "Oh, nothing to worry about."

"Carlisle ..."

He put down his clipboard and looked me in the eye. "Your blood pressure and heart rate are high."

"But that's to be expected, right? I mean, the wolf blood gives me a heightened metabolism?"

"Yes, to a degree. But ..."

"But, what?"

"This is higher that I would have predicted. Your heart is racing, and the rhythm is uneven. It's ... concerning."

I looked at Bella. She was standing beside Carlisle with her hand on my thigh, worry etched on her face.

"Edward, what does this mean?"

I picked up her hand and kissed it. "I don't think it's anything to worry about. May I have a few minutes to talk to Carlisle? Alone?"

"What? Why?"

"Please, Bella. I think Esme wants you to try the soup she's made for me."

She frowned. "How do you know that?"

I paused. _Good question. _"Uh ... I'm not sure, but maybe you could go and check if I'm right."

I knew she was worried, but I was pretty sure she didn't need to be. I had a good idea about what was going on. I just wanted to confirm it before allaying her fears.

"Okay, but you're going to tell me later, right?" she said, stroking my arm.

"Absolutely."

She gave me a pointed look before kissing my cheek and heading upstairs. When she was gone I took a few deep breaths and tried to stop thinking about her. After a few minutes, I asked Carlisle to take my pulse again.

He laughed at the result. "Well, that's much better. She really affects you, doesn't she?"

I nodded. "God, yes. I mean, when I was dead she made me feel alive, so now that I'm alive, she makes me feel ... "

"Superhuman?"

I smiled. "Something like that."

"How's your pain?"

I wanted to tell him that it was better, but it wasn't. My new muscles were excruciating, and whenever I walked I felt like Frankenstein's monster, all rigid arms and legs. The less I bent them, the less I hurt.

Carlisle must have read the disappointment in my face, because he placed a hand on my shoulder. "It'll get better, son, I'm sure of it."

I sighed, impatient as always. "When?"

"I don't know, but you have to understand that your body has gone through a miraculous transformation. It's perfectly normal to have a degree of inflammation. Every cell has metamorphosed and is no doubt still adjusting to a new state. I'd suggest trying something like yoga to stretch out the muscles. Get them used to functioning as flesh and blood again."

I looked at him skeptically. "Yoga?"

"Yes."

I climbed off the metal bench and winced as I pulled on my t-shirt. "Carlisle, yoga is for new-age himbos who wax their body hair in strange and unusual places. I used to be one of the world's most efficient predators. I don't need _yoga_." I said the last word with the same connotation as a venereal disease.

"If it helps alleviate the pain, it might allow you to be intimate with Bella sooner rather than later."

He'd hit upon the perfect argument.

Within fifteen minutes I'd ordered twelve yoga DVDs over the internet and was trying several poses I'd found online. It hurt like hell, but if it helped me make love to Bella, it would be worth it.

_Downward dog? Who the hell thinks of these names? Oh, God. Ow._

Bella came downstairs and watched me in amused silence. I tried to ignore her and the desire in her eyes. Her being aroused by my efforts was just another reason to continue.

I did yoga until I collapsed.

...

...

...

The next morning I awoke to Bella staring at me again. I registered an insistent ache in my groin and looked down to see that I was impressively hard.

"Good morning," Bella said to my crotch.

"Um ... Isabella, I don't mean to accuse you of anything untoward, but... were you touching me while I slept?"

She laughed and kissed me. I was a little self-conscious about the bacteria that now inhabited my mouth, no doubt giving me the dreaded human morning breath, but she didn't seem to mind, so neither did I.

"Edward, what are you suggesting? That I pleasured you while you were unconscious? What sort of person would do something like that?"

I rolled on top of her and pinned her hands as I settled between her legs. "I know that you're alluding to the less-than-innocent acts I perpetrated when we first met, but I still maintain you weren't completely asleep. You talked to me. Encouraged me. I was merely satisfying your obvious carnal urges."

She licked her lips. "I'm having some pretty carnal urges right now. How about you satisfy them?"

She squirmed against me, and for a moment my old predatory instinct to incapacitate her flared, but it only lasted for a moment, and it didn't have the intensity it used to. Judging from the look on Isabella's face, she was totally fine with that.

"I love it when you make that sound," she said, rolling her hips and driving me insane.

"What sound?"

"It's kind of a mix between a grunt and a growl. It's sexy as hell."

She rubbed herself on me, gentle and tantalizing. "I hadn't realized I'd made a noise."

"Oh, you did. My vagina heard it very clearly."

"Your vagina has the ability to hear?"

"When you make that noise it does."

"Good to know."

I kissed her and noticed that even though my erection was causing me great amounts of pain, it did seem a little less than the day before. I didn't see how yoga could decrease the pain in that particular muscle, but I couldn't deny the improvement. Perhaps Carlisle was right after all.

"Where's your family?" Bella asked as I kissed down her neck to her breasts.

"Out."

Since the change, my family had been graciously scarce, giving Bella and me as much privacy as possible. Right now, I was immensely grateful for that.

I pulled down her top and tasted her skin. So delicious. My hands were greedy, too. They caressed and stroked, and I pulled her against me as she wound her hands in my hair. I wanted her so much I was trembling. I pushed my hand into her pajamas and felt her, petal soft and more-than-ready. Oh, Lord, how I wanted that. On my fingers. My mouth. On my erection that was currently screaming in agony.

"Oh ... Edward ... yes ..."

I endured the pain for a few minutes longer, purely to revel in the new and exhilarating ways my human body experienced arousal, but when Isabella pushed her hand between us and palmed me, the agony became too much.

I rolled off and lay on my back, breathing deeply. Everything hurt. Everything wanted her. No part of me could have her. I ran my hand through my hair in frustration.

Bella straightened up her top and sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said as she leaned over and stroked my face.

"It's not your fault."

"No. It's yours for being irresistible. I know it's too early to touch you like that, but you're all... there... and half-naked ... and hard, and I'm weak and want you."

"I want you, too. But my body has other ideas." I flexed my hands as I waited for the pain to pass.

Isabella stroked my scalp. "What sort of pain is it?"

"The painful kind."

She tugged my hair. "You know what I mean."

I sighed. Stroking my hair was relaxing, and as long as I didn't focus on how her breasts spilled over the edge of her tank top as she lay on her side, I might have a chance of deflating my erection.

"Mostly, it's a deep, throbbing pain, but when I reach a certain level of ... arousal ... it turns into more of a sharp, stabbing pain."

"Does Carlisle think it's normal?"

"I don't think we have any benchmark for what's normal in this situation. He thinks the pain will fade over time. He just doesn't know how long it will take."

"What if it takes weeks? Or months?"

"I don't even want to think about that."

She snuggled into my side, and I wrapped my arm around her. "However long it takes," she said, "it's going to be worth the wait."

"Are you sure about that? Maybe as a human I'll be a terrible lover."

She snorted. "Yeah, right. Human or vampire, you're my mate. Just lying next to you makes me crazy aroused, or didn't you notice that when you put your hand in my pants."

I squeezed my eyes shut. Just the thought of how she felt made me harder. I breathed out on a hiss.

"I wish I could take the pain away," she whispered, and stroked my chest until I could breathe again. "Still, I have no doubt that when you're ready, we're not going to have any problems when it comes to sex."

"I hope not."

I really needed the pain to go away faster, so I could put her theory to the test.

...

...

...

I knew I was hugging her too tightly, but I couldn't let go. Her breathing was uneven and I prayed she didn't cry. If she did, there was no way I could let her walk away.

"It's just a few days," she whispered.

I swallowed around a massive lump in my throat. It was a horrible feeling. The thought of her leaving made my heart thud too fast and my skin prickle with sweat.

Bella pulled back and cupped my cheek. "I couldn't say no. Not after everything I put him through. I'm sorry."

I nodded. I couldn't talk. Everything hurt too much.

"I'll be back Friday night."

I nodded again. Friday night was an eternity away. More than a few minutes apart from her felt like forever. How the hell was I going to make it five days?

I ran my hands up her back, over her shoulders, and caressed her neck as I bent to kiss her.

I pressed gently, then pulled back. Changed my angle. Kissed her again. Soft lips, gentle suction. My heart rate went through the roof. Blood rushed and pounded. Pulsed and tingled. Everything ached for her. All of her. God, I loved her so much.

She kissed me back with just as much passion. Even a little more desperation. How the hell was I going to stop kissing her?

Without these lips for five days? This smell? This skin?

This woman.

My woman.

I kissed her until we were both dizzy from it. My guts knotted when she stepped away.

"I love you." We stared at each other for a few seconds, and the urge to pull her back to me made me tremble.

"Go," I said, my voice hoarse. "Before I lose the strength to let you."

She stepped forward and kissed me before turning and running up the stairs and out of the basement.

I stood there for a long time, trying hard to ignore the wrongness invading my being, bringing with it a sickening ache. It constricted my chest and made my eyes burn.

In the end, I had to accept that it couldn't be ignored. I just had to learn to live with it until she came back to me.

Friday night.

The span of time until then represented way too many solitary heartbeats.

...

...

...

Carlisle tightened the tourniquet around my bicep, a little wary after what I'd done to his blood pressure cuff. I opened and closed my hand a few times in order to plump my blood vessels.

"I've been wanting to take a blood sample for days," he said as he prepared the needle, "but I wanted to make sure all of your systems had stabilized before attempting it."

He tapped the crease in my elbow, and a thick artery pulsed below the skin. I still couldn't get used to seeing it. Blood vessels and capillaries. The healthy pink tone of my arm. I hadn't realized how dead I'd felt until I was truly alive.

"Okay, this might sting," he said as he pushed the needle in. He filled three vials with blood before removing the needle and pressing a cotton ball over the hole. A second later he wiped the spot in preparation for a Band-aid, but the mark had disappeared.

Carlisle frowned. "Okay, this is interesting."

He grabbed a scalpel and moved toward me.

"Whoa. Wait a second. What are you doing?'

"Relax," he said and grabbed my hand. "I just want to try something. It shouldn't hurt. Too much."

He ran the blade across the pad of my index finger. I barely felt it, but a thin line of blood appeared. Carlisle wiped it away with some gauze. By the time he was finished, the cut had closed.

"Interesting."

"You keep saying that."

"It continues to be true. I wasn't sure how the wolves' regenerative properties would manifest in you. It seems your healing speed isn't too dissimilar to theirs."

"I kind of already knew that."

"How?"

"Well, for the past two days, Bella hasn't helped me shave and ... let's just say it is absolutely not impossible to cut yourself with a safety razor."

"Ah, that's why the bathroom smells of blood."

"Yeah."

"Exactly how many times did you cut yourself?"

"In actual numbers?"

"Yes."

"Let just say 'a lot' and leave it at that. I seem to be having a little trouble with my human eye/hand coordination."

"Really? Ooh, we should test that." Carlisle bustled around the basement with the manic gleam he always got when doing 'experiments'. It was kind of hilarious in an incredibly uncool way.

Esme came down, and we watched him together. He was zipping around like he was on fast-forward.

"Experiments?" Esme asked dryly.

"Yep."

"Joy." She pulled out her phone and pointed to a picture on the screen. "I just ordered this from an online t-shirt company. Do you think he'd wear it?"

The picture showed a grey t-shirt printed with the words, _"Science! Fuck, yeah!"_

I laughed. "When he's like this? Probably."

She watched him with affection and asked, "Bella's still with Charlie?"

"Yes. He's taken her on a road trip to Canada. Father/daughter bonding time. She's been feeling guilty she hasn't seen him much over the past few months."

"When will she be back?"

"Friday night."

"I'm sure she's already climbing the walls."

"She's not the only one." Just talking about her made me miss her more.

"It's all part of being mated. You're meant to be together. Things feel wrong when you're not."

"That's an understatement. I feel empty."

"Is that why you've eaten almost an entire fridge full of food over the past few days?"

"Food is comforting. Although I've heard ice-cream is the most comforting. Why don't we have any?"

"Because your body isn't ready for that much sugar and fat. It would make you sick."

"I'm willing to risk it."

"I'm not. I have a nice bunch of celery. You could binge on that."

I rolled my eyes. "I've only been human for a few days but even I know it's not the same. Ice cream, chocolate, and baked goods of all types are the most popular comfort foods."

"Yes, well, until your digestive system starts expelling waste, let's just stick with whole foods, shall we?"

"So you're saying I don't get treats until I poop? Wow. That awkward moment when your own mother acts like you're a dog."

She laughed, and although I tried to join her, I just couldn't. It was like the hollowness inside me expanded more with every minute I was away from Bella.

Esme put her hand on my arm and gave me a reassuring smile. "She'll be home in a few days."

Home. With me. "I know."

"I understand how you feel. When we find our mates, they become part of us. Functioning without them is ... difficult."

I shrugged and tried to act casual. "Still, it's nice she's spending time with him."

Esme gave me a knowing smile. "Sweetheart, you're a terrible liar. Don't even pretend you're happy about it."

"Fine, I hate that she's with him."

"He's her father."

"Esme, my jealousy isn't rational. I thought you'd understand that by now. Don't offer logic. Commiserate, please."

"Oh, Edward, I'm so terribly sorry that your one true love is a selfish girl who insists on spending time with the man who gave her half her genes. You have my sympathy."

"Thank you."

"Any time."

"What's for lunch?"

"Food. Lots of it."

"Ah, my favorite."

Esme headed back upstairs, and over the next hour, Carlisle ran a series of exhaustive tests on me. He measured my reflexes, reaction time, sight, hearing, regeneration speed, lung capacity, memory, and problem solving. He tried to test my strength, but lifting weights was more than I could bear. Every time my muscles bunched, pain shot through my body.

"Have you tested Bella for all these things?" I asked as I stretched my aching arms. "She lifted a car the day before the change, you know."

Carlisle looked up from his microscope. "She did?"

"It was a small car, but, yes."

He got a manic gleam in his eye. "When will she be home?"

"Friday."

He slumped a little. "Please tell her I'd like to talk to her when she returns."

"Okay." Right after I rub myself all over her like the dog I am.

I watched Carlisle work for a few more minutes before going over to my bed and lying down. The basement wasn't the most glamorous place to recuperate, but at least everything was in shuffling distance.

When I was comfortable, I closed my eyes and tried to ignore my building anxiety about being apart from Bella. Esme was right. Everything felt off without her.

On the nightstand next to me, my phone buzzed. Before I even saw the caller ID, I knew it was her.

"God, I miss you," I said as I answered.

_"I miss you, too. So, so much."_

"Having a nice time?"

_"Yes. And no. I can't stop thinking about you. Dad can tell I'm preoccupied. I feel bad for not being able to focus on him."_

"Just tell him you're cosmically mated to a former-vampire-slash-new-human-hybrid and are physiologically, mentally, and emotionally compelled to be with him at all times. I'm sure he'll understand."

_"Oh, of course. Why didn't I think of that? Be right back. Telling him now. If you don't hear from me, it's because my father has committed me into a luxurious mental health facility."_

I laughed and closed my eyes. Just hearing her voice was taking the edge off my tension.

"I love you, Bella."

_"I love you, too, but I have to go. I'm calling you from the ladies' room while Dad refuels. Can't say I'm enjoying my __newly__ heightened sense of smell. I think the last time this bathroom was cleaned, Jimmy Carter was in the White House. It's gross."_

"Ah, yes. The Carter years. I remember them well."

_"I'm sure you do, old man."_

"An old man in an extremely virile body that wants you." I was becoming harder by the second.

_"Do you think that body will be in any shape for me to do bad things to it when I get back?"_

"I hope so."

_"Me, too. Can't wait to see you."_

"Me, too."

We said a few more 'I love yous before we hung up, and as soon as the line went dead, I had the strongest urge to call her right back.

Yep, the next few days were going to suck.

...

...

...

* * *

**I know it's still a day or so away, but, HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my wonderful readers. I hope 2013 brings you joy, success, and much love.**

**If you have a moment to drop me a line and let me know your thoughts, I'd truly appreciate it.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Kiya x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Update: January 6th, 2013**

**Huge thanks to my wonderful Beta-Goddess, Irritable_Grizzzly, and my amazing pre-reader, Vican.**

* * *

**Teething Problems**

Before I'd even exited the bathroom, I knew he was there. I ignored his enthusiastic expression and shuffled back to my bed. He followed like a large, overly muscled puppy.

"Edward -"

"No, Emmett."

"Aw, come on."

"No."

"Just tell me what it was like."

"I'm not talking about it."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not something I want to discuss."

"Goddammit, bro, I've been waiting for this for days, and you won't even tell me how it felt?"

"No."

"Was it satisfying? At least tell me that. Did it hurt? How much was there?"

"What part of 'I'm not talking about it' don't you understand?"

"Aw, stop being such a dick. Tell me."

"No. When you become human, you can experience it for yourself."

He scowled. "If you loved me, you'd talk about your first post-change crap."

"I do love you, but I'm not discussing it."

"Shit."

"Exactly."

He scowls. "You stink."

"That too."

He scowled at me once more before exiting the basement. Jasper laughed as he set up the chess set next to the bed, and Carlisle shook his head.

"You could have told him something," Jas said. "You know how much he's been looking forward to that."

"He'll experience it for himself soon enough. Isn't he going next?"

"I think Rose has usurped his place in the queue."

"Really? I thought he'd convinced her with his constant whining to let him go next."

"So did I, but she had a change of heart."

"And, what? He just rolled over?"

"Not exactly." The expression on his face made me uneasy.

"Jasper?"

He rubbed his eyes. "I'm not supposed to know the reason."

"But you do?"

"I overheard them talking about it the other day when we were hunting."

"Spill."

He sighed. "You didn't hear it from me."

"Jas …"

"Okay, fine. Rose said that if he let her go next, she'd let him have sex with her as a human. You know how much of a fetish that is for him."

"Are you serious?"

"Yep."

Carlisle stopped setting up his testing equipment and looked over at us.

"You know about this?" I asked him.

"Well, now I do."

"And you're going to let him do it? What the hell, Carlisle?"

"Edward, I can't dictate what Emmett and Rose do in their sex life. I've tried that before, remember? At least now they keep it in their bedroom. Mostly."

"But, there's no way he could do it. He'd kill her. You and I both know Emmett is at his most bestial when aroused."

"Well," said Jas, "I think he's counting on the fact that hybrid bodies are more resilient than humans and have that freaky regenerative ability."

I couldn't believe I was the only one who thought this was a terrible idea. Carlisle seemed totally calm about it.

"Regeneration or not," I said, "it's going to be difficult for him to control himself. Specifically, his instinct to bite."

Carlisle turned to me. "You're right. If only he had a big brother who'd experienced making love to a human and could advise him of various strategies on how best to circumvent his violent nature. Oh, wait ..."

"Very funny. I do not wish to discuss my sexual experiences with Bella. Especially with Emmett. He gets ... excited."

He gave me a fatherly look that told me I was being prudish and selfish. I hated that look.

I sighed. "Fine. I'll talk to him. But only because if he kills Rose, I'd have no one to service my cars."

"Your concern for your sister is touching." He beckoned me over then said, "Jasper, chess will have to wait. I need Edward now."

Jas sighed and headed upstairs, and Carlisle started his routine tests. Blood pressure. Temperature. Heart rate.

I was used to the rhythm of it by now.

"You know she's keen to try to get pregnant when she changes, right?" I asked as he put a stethoscope to my chest.

"Rose? Yes. She's made no secret of that."

"And? What do you think? Will we be able to reproduce?"

I felt a small thrill just thinking about the possibility.

Carlisle tapped data into his computer. "I don't know. Sometimes when hybridization occurs, it results in sterility. It happens in mules, for example. Until I'm able to test the viability of your reproductive processes, I wouldn't even like to hypothesize." He looked up at me. "Speaking of which, have you managed to ... uh ... ejaculate, yet?"

I rubbed my face. It seemed it didn't matter how old you were, discussing orgasms with your father was always uncomfortable. "No. I can't even think about it without nearly screaming in pain."

Carlisle nodded. "Hmmm. Did you have any discomfort this morning while vacating your bowels?"

Okay, orgasms _and _pooping. Always awkward.

"Discomfort? You could say that."

"Pain?"

"Yes."

"On a scale of one to ten ..."

"Eleven. Why?"

"Just wondering if the first time your body exercises a new function it creates neural confusion, and therefore pain. It would make sense, considering you're using muscles in ways you haven't for nearly a century. Perhaps apart from the inflammation, which should be settling by now, you're also suffering from your nerves firing in unfamiliar patterns."

"Well, how do we fix that?"

"We don't. The more you repeat an action or process, the easier it should become."

"Tell that to my leg muscles."

"Oh, come on. Walking is getting easier."

"Not much. And certainly not enough. Maybe I just need to lie around more. You know, rest."

Carlisle shook his head and laughed. "Edward, you've done nothing but rest and read since the change. You've barely gotten out of your pajamas. Don't tell me you're now going to become a regular slothful seventeen-year-old."

I scoffed. "I don't think so." Although I had seen an ad for Pop-Tarts yesterday and was desperate to try them. They looked kind of delicious.

"I'll take your word for it, but please know if you start sleeping 'til midday and obsessively playing _World of Warcraft_, I'm going to have to ration your internet usage."

"Noted. Now, if you don't mind, I need to go buy some Playboys and decorate my room with posters of scantily clad, surgically enhanced women."

"Your mother will be so proud."

I laughed and shuffled over to my bed. Of course, Carlisle knew Bella was the all the sexual stimulation I needed. _Would_ever need. Even when she was hundreds of miles away, the mere thought of her was enough to make me ache.

Considering she was still on a road trip with her father and wasn't going to be home for another forty-seven hours and twenty-three minutes, I needed to stop torturing myself and find an effective method of distraction.

I picked up my iPad and Googled _World of Warcraft_.

_Hmmm. Interesting._

...

Emmett and Jasper stared at me.

I knew what they wanted, but I kept my focus on my book. "No."

"She's not going to be back until tomorrow," Jas said. "You're just going to sit around in your pajamas and pout 'til then?"

"I'm not pouting. I'm reading. And these aren't pajamas. They're yoga pants. Big difference."

"No, it's not. They're pajama pants that some genius labeled 'yoga pants' so they could slap an extra twenty bucks onto the price and convince people with too much damn money they're something special. You think that most of the people who buy those things actually do yoga?"

"_I_do yoga," I said.

Emmett crossed his arms. "Whatever. You haven't been outside since the change, dude. Don't you want to try sitting in the sun without sparkling?"

It was an enticing thought, but it would mean climbing the stairs to get out of the basement, and I couldn't face the indignity of whimpering with every pain-filled step.

"Maybe tomorrow."

Jasper sighed. "Alice said you'd say that. She also said we should ignore you. Get up."

I closed my book. "You two seem to have no respect for the fact that until very recently, I was dead. Do you think reanimating is just a walk in the park? Because I can tell you, it isn't. Everything hurts."

"We'll carry you upstairs."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"It's either that or walk."

"I'll walk."

"Fine. Get up."

I scowled at him for calling my bluff.

I gritted my teeth and pushed off the bed. I'd be damned if I let the pain win in front of my brothers. They'd never let me live it down.

When I got to the stairs, I took a deep breath. Placing my right foot on the first step, I tried to lift myself up. Pain shot up my thigh, and I pushed air through my teeth.

"Do you want us to get behind you and push?" Jasper asked, hiding his smile.

"Shut up ," I said and hauled myself up by gripping the banister. "After you change, I'm going to laugh my ass off when you go through this."

My brothers snickered, and it made me more determined to get to the top of the stairs. But every step became more impossible. It was like my own private Everest.

It took me fifteen minutes to climb fifteen stairs, and by the time I'd reached the top, I was sweating and exhausted. My brothers were no longer laughing. Emmett appeared in front of me with a glass of water, and Jasper handed me a towel.

"You okay?" Jas asked.

"Yep."

"You're red. Like, really, really red. It's weird."

"That's because my head's about to explode." I downed my water in three mouthfuls.

Emmett took the empty glass. "Bro, don't even joke about that. There's a huge vein in your forehead. It looks like it could pop."

"If it does, I demand you sing a Celine Dion song at my funeral."

Jasper looked mortified. "Dude!"

I wiped my face and neck and threw the towel at Emmett who made an unmanly 'ew' noise. Then I shuffled down the hallway and out the back door.

My brothers followed and muttered something about going hunting. I tuned them out. Going down the three steps on the back porch was almost worse than the fifteen up, and when I inally made it onto the grass, I put my hands on my knees and panted.

This was ridiculous. I felt like an old man. I mean, technically, I was one, but this was the first time I'd felt every one of my hundred and ten years.

"So, we're heading out," Emmett said. "You cool here?"

I didn't have enough breath to answer, so I nodded.

"Okay," said Jas. "See you when we get back."

I waved them off and took a few deep breaths. By the time I looked up, they were gone, and Alice had appeared at the back door.

"How are you feeling?" she asked and walked over to rub my back.

"Terrific," I said. "How are you?"

"I think getting outside will be good for you."

I straightened up and every vertebrae cracked. "You think?"

"Well, you know I've had trouble seeing you and Bella since you both became semi-wolves, but every now and then I get weird flashes. And today I got one of you in the backyard."

"Uh huh. Doing anything in particular? Mowing the lawn, perhaps?"

"Actually, you were lying on the grass."

"Excellent idea." I awkwardly eased down to sit in a patch of sunshine and felt better right away. I held up my hand and studied it in the light. No sparkling. Just skin. Completely refraction-free and getting warmer every second.

It felt good.

I pulled off my shirt and balled it under my head as I lay down.

_Ahhhh._

The sun continued to warm me, and I closed my eyes. I may have moaned.

"That's feels nice, huh?" Alice said.

"Very."

"So, worth the pain of getting up here?"

"No."

She sat next to me and touched my arm. As she pressed into the skin, she watched it react. "It's still so strange seeing you as a human. Well, mostly human. If I were you, I'd be spending all day in front of the mirror, staring at myself."

"I've done that. It's kind of a necessity when I have to shave twice a day in order to kiss my girlfriend."

"Do you think you look much different?"

"Not really. Do you?"

"No. Not facially. I do think you're taller though. And broader. It's weird to see you with so many muscles."

I bristled. "I had muscles before."

She scoffed. "Yeah, not like these. I bet Bella loves it."

I looked down at myself and flexed. I thought about how Bella seemed to always have her hands on me, touching and stroking. Driving me insane.

To be honest, she also did that before the change, just with much more caution.

"I think she's enjoying being able to touch me whenever she likes without worrying about inciting a homicidal episode," I said. "It's a relief for me, too."

Alice leaned forward. "What's it like to be free from bloodlust?"

"Incredible."

"I can imagine. I mean, just regular bloodlust is bad enough, but what you must have felt toward Bella? I've never come across my singer, but I bet I wouldn't have had the control you did."

"Control?" I laughed. "Do you forget that I killed her? I wouldn't call that control."

"Yes, but that was months after you found her and only because you were provoked."

"Hmmm."

"What?"

I closed my eyes and marveled over the pattern the sunlight made through my eyelids. "I wonder how much longer I would have lasted if James hadn't come along. In a way ... "

I pushed the thought aside, as I'd done many times since that horrible night. "Never mind."

"Edward, tell me."

I looked up at my sister. I supposed I had to articulate this hideous confession to someone. Might as well be her.

"In a way," I said, "I'm grateful I had James to blame. What if it had happened spontaneously? It wasn't like her blood was getting any less appealing. Or my control was getting stronger. The more I was with her, the more I wanted her. Every time I fantasized about making love to her, it was accompanied by images of biting her. I wanted it so much, Alice. You have no idea."

"Yeah, but you didn't do it."

I stared up at the clouds. "I think I would have. Eventually. I can't even describe to you how tantalizing her blood was. Or how incredible it tasted. I'm still ashamed of how much pleasure I took in draining her. I hated that I was killing her, but at the same time, I was apoplectic with ecstasy. It was disgusting. And wonderful."

Guilt still flared hot in my gut whenever I thought about it.

"At least you no longer have to worry about hurting her, right?" Alice said, crossing her legs.

"I hope not. Carlisle still has to assess my new wolf-strength."

"But she's stronger too, right? Less breakable?"

"Yes, but it's different. She started out as a human. Carlisle said there are subtle differences in our cellular structure. He thinks I'll be stronger. Faster. Until we know more, I'll still have to be careful."

Alice raised her eyebrows and smiled.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing."

"Alice ..."

"Seriously, nothing. I just think that Bella's a bit sick of you being careful with her, that's all."

"As in ..."

"As in, when you're able to ... you know ... do stuff, I'm pretty sure she's going to want you to be a little rough. Let yourself go for once."

"You had a vision?"

"Of you two getting busy? Ew. No. She told me."

"Ah. Well, believe me, I'd love to fulfill Bella's every sexual whim, but whenever we even get close to being intimate, my new body tortures me."

"Yeah, I know. I can hear you groaning halfway up the mountain. But the yoga's helping?"

"A little. It's a slow process."

"Want me to go through some routines with you? We could salute the sun. Seems appropriate."

Considering I was comfortable, warm, and relatively pain-free, I really didn't want to move, but I knew I should.

"Okay."

Alice and I stood side-by-side and went through several yoga routines, while I kept my groaning to a minimum. I had to admit, it was nice doing it outside in the sun. Forks didn't get a lot of this type of weather, so it was a pleasant change. Not sparkling was also a bonus. Really wouldn't miss that.

"What about your mind reading?" Alice asked as she bent at the waist, and I followed.

"What about it?"

"Do you miss it?"

She grabbed her ankles and placed her head on her knees effortlessly. I had zero chance of grabbing my ankles, so I dangled my arms as I bent like Quasimodo. My hamstrings cursed me out in several languages.

"Sometimes I miss reading thoughts," I said, straining to touch my toes. "Jasper challenged me to a game of chess yesterday. It was strange not knowing his every move."

"So he finally beat you?"

I managed to brush the tops of my feet. "Hell, no. I caned him as usual. I just had to strategize for once instead of relying on my gift."

"Oh, that must have been a strain."

"Surprisingly, yes. Although ..."

Alice reached up to the sky. "What?"

I mimicked her position and panted through the pain. "For the past few days I've been getting these ... feelings."

"Feelings?" She moved into a lunge.

I grunted and followed her. "Yeah, like, intuition about what someone's thinking. I don't know their exact thoughts, but I get a gut feeling about their general intent. It seems to be getting stronger."

Oh, God. My legs. Someone, please chop off my legs.

"Hmm. Interesting. Let's test it."

She stood. When I joined her, I creaked like a geriatric. I exhaled and stretched my aching back.

_Ow._

"Can we test it while I'm collapsed on the grass?"

"I suppose."

"Great." I sank like a stone and lay flat on my back with my arms at my sides and my legs together.

Ah, sweet relief.

"So, I guess we're done with yoga?" she asked.

"Not at all. This is corpse position. It's my favorite. I can hold it for hours. Especially when I'm asleep."

"My talented brother. By the way, have I told you how jealous I am that you get to sleep?"

"Only every day."

"I can't wait to be able to do that."

"Eh, it's not everything it's cracked up to be."

"Really?"

"No, I'm lying to make you feel better. It's fantastic. I love it. Next to Isabella, food, and my family, it's my favorite thing in the whole world."

"Better than sex?"

"No. Sex was implied with 'Isabella.'"

In fact, just saying 'Isabella' made my dick ache. I needed her not be elsewhere any more.

I guess Alice saw me wince, because she sat near my feet and lifted one onto her lap.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I squinted at her.

"Giving you a foot massage. I heard Carlisle say something about your pain being related to nerve endings. You have a ton of nerve endings in your feet. Ergo, a massage might help."

She dug her thumbs into my instep, and I yelped and pulled my foot back.

"Oh, sorry," she said, suppressing a smile. "Painful?"

"Yes, very."

She laughed. "Liar."

"Okay, fine, it tickled. Shut up. You haven't been ticklish in God knows how long. You've forgotten how hideous it is."

"Suck it up, puny human. This is therapeutic."

I grit my teeth as she massaged. After a few minutes, my feet became a little less sensitized, and I began enjoying it. Kind of.

"So, let's test your new 'intuition', she said and squeezed my foot like a sponge.

"Okay."

"Tell me what I'm thinking about."

"Jasper."

She nodded. "Wow. You're good."

"Not really. I've lived with you for decades. You always think about Jasper. It was an easy educated guess."

"Fine. Let me make it harder."

She closed her eyes and inhaled before a smile spread across her face. The hair on the back of my neck prickled, and a mix of jealousy, annoyance, violence, and gratitude washed over me. It was very unpleasant.

I closed my eyes and concentrated. Shadowy images moved behind my eyelids. None of them were clear, but I got a strong sense of what Alice was thinking about.

I opened my eyes. "Jacob's coming?"

She nodded. "Yes! I just got a whiff of him on the breeze. He'll be here in a few minutes. Very good!"

"Not really. Jacob's coming."

"Aw, come on," she said. "Jacob's all right. And let's be honest, you do owe him your life. And Bella's."

"And that's supposed to make up for all the times he put his hands on her?"

"You weren't even around when they started dating."

"So?"

"So, he should have known she belonged to you two years before you even knew she existed?"

"Correct."

"You're a jealous freak. You know that, right?"

"Sadly, yes. Aren't you jealous when you think about all the things Jasper did with Maria?"

Her smile dropped and was replaced with a scowl. "Don't you dare mention that psychotic, manipulative, slutwhore's name in my presence."

"Who's the jealous freak now?"

"Shut up."

I laughed, and she dropped my foot and stood just as Jacob emerged from the line of trees to the north of the house.

"You're leaving?" I asked, a little pathetically. I didn't relish spending time alone with Jacob. Being grateful to him for providing the means for my change didn't make me want to beat him any less.

Alice rolled her eyes. "As much as I'd like to see you two duke it out over who's the most ridiculous Alpha, I need to go to the store with Esme. Between you and the wolves, she's having trouble keeping our pantry stocked. We've wiped out all the food in town, so we're heading to Port Angeles."

"Oh, could you pick up some Pop-tarts while you're there? I really want to try them. And Doritos. And since Bella's away, I need to know if Snickers really do satisfy."

"Stop being a slave to television advertisers. You know Esme won't let you eat that crap."

"I'm not going to make a habit out of it. I just want to see what they're like."

"Maybe in a few months when your system can cope with it."

"I can cope with it now."

"No."

"Dammit."

"You're adorable when you pout." She waved to the large man walking toward us. "Hey, Jake. Nice to see you."

I sat up and crossed my legs as Jacob stopped in front of me.

"Hey, Alice. You're leaving?" He seemed just as reluctant to be alone with me as I was with him. At least we had something in common.

"Yeah, stuff to do."

"Is Bella back yet?"

Just the sound of him saying her name made me itch to smack him.

"Not 'til tomorrow night," I said, clenching my hands. Every second without her made my anxiety increase.

"Well," Alice said brightly, "I have to go. But you two should talk a while. I mean, you're practically family now, right? Bonded by blood and all that."

She waved again and headed back to the house. Jake and I settled into an awkward silence. He cracked his knuckles. I rolled my neck.

"So," he said, gesturing to me. "You look much less cadaverous. The change worked, huh?"

"Yes." I was impressed he even knew the word 'cadaverous'. Maybe he wasn't as dumb as he looked.

I laughed to myself. I'd been inside his mind. He was exactly as dumb as he looked.

"How's it feel to be alive again?" he asked.

"So far so good."

"Did Carlisle use all of our blood?"

"Yes. There was a vomiting incident during the change that wasted a lot of it."

"Sounds gross."

"It was."

"But you're okay, now?" He sounded concerned. "I mean, you're not going to change back or anything?"

"No, I don't think so."

He nodded and dropped down onto the grass in front of me. "Good." He looked genuinely pleased.

"Jacob, I have to say, I'm touched that you seem so invested in my wellbeing."

He laughed. "Don't be. I'm just glad there's one less bloodsucker in the world. If I couldn't kill you, then I'm glad I could help turn you."

He seemed flippant, but he couldn't hide the tone of his thoughts. He was relieved, not for my sake, or even for the safety of humankind, but for Bella.

I was relieved for her, too. She was finally safe from me.

"So," he said as he picked at some grass, "Bella's off with her dad, huh?"

"Yes."

"Missing her?"

"You have no idea how much."

"Yeah, I guess not. What with your weird mating bond." The way he said it was both envious and melancholic.

"Sam tells me imprinting is very similar to our mating bond," I said. "Powerful and undeniable."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't know."

"I'm sure you'll find out one day."

"Maybe. Whatever. It's not like I'm looking for anything right now."

I got the distinct impression he was definitely looking for something right now. Losing Bella had been a blow to his ego, and considering it was my fault, I felt sorry for him. The kid was lonely. He saw how much Bella and I meant to each other, and he wanted that. More than he was willing to admit.

I was about to placate him when there was a loud growl and a flash before I was slammed onto my back. The air rushed out of me as stone hands wrenched my head to the side to expose my neck.

"Stop!" Jake yelled when a cold tongue ran the length of my carotid artery. I barely had time to register shock or fear before sharp teeth sank into my neck.

...

...

...

* * *

**Uh oh. This can't be good. Who on earth could be munching on our favourite ex-vamp?**

** Tune in next weekend to find out.**

**In the meantime, if you have a moment to let me know your thoughts, that would be all kinds of awesome. :)**

**Thanks so much for reading.**

**Kiya x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Update: January 13th, 2012**

**Huge thanks to my Wonder Women - Beta-goddess, Irritable_Grizzzly, and Sprinkle-Queen, Vican.**

**:)**

* * *

**Mortality**

Teeth cut into me, and my instincts went into overdrive. Without thinking, I shoved with all my might. A body catapulted away, and I pressed a hand to my neck as I scrambled to my feet to face my attacker.

"Jessica," I said as I was hit with an adrenaline overload that made me shake. "You don't want to do this. I know you're thirsty, but you need to calm down."

Her bite wound was healing beneath my finger, and even though the venom stung like hell, at least it wasn't spreading. One of the advantages of wolf blood rejecting venom, I guessed.

"I can't calm down," she said and screwed up her face. "I've tried to like animal blood, but I can't. It's so sour. I could smell you from over at the lake. You smell so sweet. I want you."

Sweet? The human blood Carlisle had transfused must have taken away the stench and taste of the wolf blood. This wasn't good.

"Jess, stop," Jacob said and stepped between us. He glanced at me. "She was downwind. I didn't smell her."

I kept my focus on the snarling vampire. "Me neither."

"Get out of my way, Jake," she said, dropping into a crouch.

"You know I can't do that."

"Fine. I'll go around you."

In a flash, she was on me again. She tried to get her arms around me, but I shoved her hard in the chest, and once again, she flew backward, even farther this time. I was surprised by my strength. I wasn't, however, surprised by how much pain using my muscles to their full capability fucking _hurt_.

Jess snarled and landed on her feet as I fell into a defensive crouch. My legs hated the crouch, but I needed be prepared for another attack. I almost laughed as I registered that Jess and I were two very different newborns facing off against each other. In terms of mobility, she got the better end of the deal.

Jacob advanced on Jessica slowly, his hands in front of him.

"Jess, come on. Don't do it. Let me take you back into the forest. We'll get you a nice bear. Sam saw some near the northern range this morning. Big ones. They'll put up a decent fight. Right now, Edward doesn't pose any challenge to you."

I was offended before I remembered he was trying to protect me. Plus, as much as I'd like to think I had enough power and experience to take Jess in a fight, I had no idea if I could. Shoving her off me was an achievement in itself, but it had taken all my energy. Still, I tried to look imposing, even if the effort of staying upright was almost beyond me.

Jessica eyed Jake, conflicted and tense, but her thoughts contained affection toward him.

"Please," she said as venom dripped from the corner of her mouth. "He smells delicious, and I'm so thirsty. You don't even understand how much it burns."

"I know you're thirsty," he said. "But if you bite him again, I'll have to hurt you, and I really don't want to do that. Okay?"

How ironic that he was protecting a post-vampire human from a post-human vampire.

Jessica gazed at me, and I recognized the conflict in her expression. The beast was whispering to her. Overriding her humanity with clawing, acidic hunger. She looked between Jacob and me and grunted in frustration. I knew exactly what she was thinking. She wanted nothing more than to tear out my throat and revel in my blood, but she didn't _want _to want it.

Vampirism really was a major mind-fuck.

She was still crouched, ready to pounce. If she decided to attack, I wasn't sure Jake could phase in time to save me. I was nervous. Something I hadn't been for a very long time.

She looked at me with murky maroon eyes before focusing on my neck. Her bloodlust was so strong, it made my mouth water in sympathy. Fear prickled my spine, and I stopped breathing.

Is this how Isabella used to feel when I was on the verge of losing control? How hideous it must have been.

"Come on, Jess," Jake said, still advancing on her. "Come with me. The sun will be setting soon. We'll have a nice afternoon together."

He placed his hand on her shoulder. She snarled for a second and shook him off, but he touched her again, gentle but determined, and she calmed a little.

"It's okay. Just relax. You can do this." He grabbed her other shoulder, and she straightened a little more. Then he stepped in and wrapped his arms around her. She fought for a moment before she closed her eyes and hugged him back. He locked his hands, but I wasn't confident he could hold her if she really wanted to get away. At least her thoughts indicated she was slowly regaining control.

"Edward's leaving now, okay?" Jake said. "You're not going to chase him."

She groaned then said, "Okay. But you'll come with me to hunt, won't you?"

"Sure."

I straightened up to leave just as Rose burst out of the forest and screeched to a halt. She took in Jake hugging Jess and me standing a short distance away with blood still glistening on my neck.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "She got away from me. I should have taken her farther away from the house. By the time I realized what she was doing, she was gone. Goddamn newborn speed."

"It's okay," Jake said, still using his soothing voice. "She stopped herself, didn't you, Jess? She was really strong." Jess tightened her arms, and Jake groaned. "Ah, a little too strong. Ouch."

She let go and stepped back. "Sorry, Jake." Then she gave me a guilty look. "And sorry for biting you, Edward."

I wiped my neck. The skin was still tingling, but it was pretty much healed. "It's fine. I know how it feels to struggle with control, believe me, and I appreciate you not eating me."

She gave me a small nod, but the tension in her posture told me that if Jake wasn't here, she'd do her best to suck me dry. Jake must have noticed too, because he took her hand and led her away.

"Okay, let's get you some nice bear, huh? Yum!"

Jess gave a resigned sigh as they disappeared into the woods.

"Well, now I've officially seen everything," Rose said, shaking her head. "I thought it was bad enough when my vampire brother fell in love with his food. But a vampire and a werewolf crushing on each other? What the hell happened to being vicious natural enemies?"

I smiled. "Times are a-changing, Rose."

"Yeah, I guess. But can we trust him with her? I mean, he won't go all deranged Pit-Bull and hurt her, will he?"

"Not if she behaves herself. I think it's more than likely she'll jump his bones and hurt him. And I'm pretty sure he'd enjoy it."

Rose shuddered. "Gross."

My intuition told me that when Jessica reclaimed her humanity, Jacob wouldn't be lonely for much longer. He was already feeling strangely drawn to her, and her to him. Her humanity would mean a whole new world for them.

"You actually look happy for him," Rose said, sounding vaguely disgusted.

I shrugged. I guessed I was. I got to have my happy ever after with the girl of my dreams. Who was I to deny anyone else?

"Getting soft in your old age, big brother?"

I thought about my frequent painful erections. "If only."

"Had enough of almost being eaten for one day?"

"Yes."

"Want to go back inside?"

"God, yes."

I grabbed my shirt off the ground and wiped my neck clean.

I was aching, tired, and hungry. And without the distraction of Jessica trying to kill me, my need for Isabella expanded, making my stomach turn. It gurgled loudly. Rose winced.

"What the hell was that?"

"That's what you have to look forward to when you turn human, sweet sister. Stomachs are a bit like Alice – loud and demanding."

"With the amount of food you shove in your mouth, you'd think your stomach would have nothing to complain about."

"Stomachs are like Emmett. They always have something to complain about."

"Hey! Stop comparing stomachs to people. It's creepy."

"Stomach are like Rose. At first they seem like a good idea, but then -"

"Finish that sentence and I rip out your still-beating heart."

"- they're lovely and pretty and non-violent towards their adoptive siblings."

She glared at me.

"I said pretty."

"I'm not 'pretty', Edward. I'm goddamn beautiful, okay?"

I flashed her a smile. She growled at me.

"See? Now you sound just like my stomach."

"Your stomach is like you. Obnoxious."

"Well, my obnoxious stomach is telling me I need to eat."

"Again? You ate, like, an hour ago."

"What can I say? I'm a growing boy."

"Yeah, about that ... how much taller are you going to get? Because the oxygen up there must be getting kind of thin."

"Funny."

"I know."

"Has Bella gotten any taller?"

"A little. Carlisle thinks the wolf blood is affecting me a little differently because of my vampire physiology, so she hasn't grown as much. But it's not like I'm going to play for the NBA. It's only been a couple of inches."

"It just looks like more because you have proper muscles now."

I exhaled in frustration. "Why the hell do people keep saying that? I had muscles before!"

"Not like these."

I threw up my hands in defeat.

Rose laughed. "Emmett's getting insecure. The other day he pondered buying a measuring tape to make sure his biceps are still bigger than yours."

"I've seen Emmett naked. He really doesn't want to be comparing us with any type of measuring device."

"You really want me to pound on you, don't you?"

"Pfft. I just fought off a newborn. Pretty sure I can take my geriatric sister."

Rose punched me in the arm. I may have squeaked.

"Personally," she said, hooking her arm through mine, "I hope I get heaps taller after the change. My height was the one thing that always held me back from being the world's oldest supermodel."

"Sure. And that you despise having your photo taken."

"Yeah, that, too."

We wandered back inside. When I climbed the stairs, I was surprised to find it was a little easier.

Esme had left a large salad for me in the fridge, and I ate it with gusto. Rose watched in slightly appalled fascination.

"Vegetables are freaking loud."

"And delicious."

I crunched on raw carrot and cucumber. Everything burst with flavor. After surviving for so long on an unappetizing liquid diet, the texture of the food was just as much of a revelation as the taste. I loved how my teeth cut and ground. It was immensely satisfying.

After lunch, Rose grudgingly went to hunt, and Carlisle asked me to join him in the basement. My journey down the stairs was painful but bearable. Carlisle watched with quiet patience.

"You okay?" he said when I reached the bottom.

"Yep."

He inspected my neck. "Doesn't seem to be any scarring from Jessica's teeth. I'm impressed you were able to push her away."

"You heard that whole altercation, didn't you?"

"Yes. Alice called to warn you a few seconds before it happened, but she was too late."

"Didn't think about helping your son fend off the hungry newborn vampire?"

He waved his hand. "I knew you could handle it. Plus, Jake was there. He had everything under control."

"Under control? He let her bite me!"

"I had faith the two of you could handle it."

I narrowed my eyes. "You chose not to help because you were busy doing experiments, weren't you?"

He gave me a guilty look and examined some test tubes. "That had nothing to do with anything."

"Sure."

"Although if I had left my experiments, I wouldn't have found some interesting discoveries in your blood and skin samples."

"Like?"

"You're deficient in vitamins D, C, and B. Dangerously so. And while I'd suspected your myalgia was inflammatory in nature, I had to rule out the possibility of it stemming from a post-change metabolic myopathy. Thanks to my 'experiments', I've now ruled that out."

I remembered enough of my medical training to understand that if my pain turned out to be a genetic biochemical storage disorder, I'd never be free of it. Ruling it out gave me some sense of relief. "Well, then, 'experiments' be praised."

He paused for a moment and tapped his chin. "Remind me to question Jessica later about how you tasted."

"What?"

"Well, we know that undiluted wolf blood tastes repugnant to vampires. I wonder how hybrid blood tastes."

"Can't you just take a sip when you do my next blood test?"

He screwed up his face. "Squirt blood into my mouth from a syringe? I don't think so."

"Oh, so tearing out the throat of an animal is acceptable, but sipping delicately from a sterilized piece of medical equipment is distasteful to you? I see."

He laughed. "Son, I haven't drunk human blood in all my years. I don't intend to start now."

"But I'm not purely human. I'd have thought you'd be fascinated to find out how my blood affects vampires. There may be unexpected results, and I know how much you love that sort of thing."

He stopped what he was doing and stared at me. Specifically, at my neck. "Hmmm. I hadn't thought of that. And to be honest, you do smell ... appealing." He stared for a few more seconds before shaking his head and swallowing. "Maybe in the future when I know more. For the time being, we need to get your new physiology under control."

"Of course, my nutrient deficiencies. What's the treatment, Doctor Cullen?"

He opened the fridge and took out some vials. "First of all, take off your pants."

"Uh huh. Considering Bella won't be home until tomorrow night, don't really see how that's going to help."

"It'll allow me to inject this rather large dose of anti-inflammatory medication into your aching thigh."

"Oh. Well, you should have said that in the first place."

I pulled off my pants and sat on the gurney in my underwear. Carlisle administered the injection then picked up another syringe.

"This is a potent cocktail of vitamins and minerals. It will help your body get back on its feet, so to speak, after being deprived of nutrients for so long."

"Surely my diet is helping replenish nutrients. I'm eating lots of stuff. Delicious stuff."

"Yes, but diet alone will be a slow process. This booster will speed things along. Your time in the sun today will have also helped. You should do that every day until your vitamin D increases."

He injected my other thigh and handed me two specimen jars. "Oh, and I'd like some samples of waste matter when you get a chance. Both urinary and fecal."

"Seriously?"

He nodded and smiled.

I took the jars. "You get way too excited about this stuff, you know? It's creepy."

"What can I say, son? I find every aspect of your new biology absolutely fascinating. Even the unsavory ones. Plus, the more I know about the pitfalls and challenges facing you, the better I'll be able to prepare the rest of us when the time comes."

"You're saying I need to suffer pain and indignity so the rest of you won't have to?"

"Basically. You're the world's biggest lab rat, and you're all mine." He made an attempt at an evil laugh. It sounded eerily similar to his regular laugh.

I rolled my eyes and headed toward the bathroom. "You're never going to get sick of all these new experiments, are you?"

"Not for several hundred years, no."

"Assuming I live that long."

"I think it's a pretty safe bet. As long as you learn to drive like you're no longer indestructible."

I stopped at the bathroom door and turned to him. "Exactly how destructible am I?"

A tremor of mortality prickled my spine. After being virtually un-killable for so long, the concept of dying was kind of hard to grasp.

Carlisle shrugged. "Well, you rely on your heart to stay alive, so you can be killed. But at the same time, your regenerative properties would make it extremely difficult for you to be damaged beyond repair. Maybe we'll call you semi-immortal. Seems the best descriptor until we know more."

I scratched my face. My scruff was getting long. Not having to shave was the only good thing about Bella's absence. "Semi-immortal, huh? I like it."

"Don't forget those fascinating waste samples," Carlisle said happily as he turned back to his computer.

My good mood immediately soured.

I closed the bathroom door and proceeded to do things that no self-respecting semi-immortal should have to deal with.

**...**

**...**

**...**

She was torturing me. Well, I'd asked her to, but still. My pain level was rising in direct relations to the hardness in my pants. And yet, I didn't want her to stop.

"Say it again."

_"Edward ..."_

"Please ..."

_"You're in pain."_

"Doesn't matter. Hearing it gives me pleasure, and God knows I need some pleasure right about now."

_"Fine. I want to lick you. All over. But before that can happen, I want your stupid pain to be gone." _I could almost hear her pouting. It made me smile.

"I want it gone, too. I also want you here, naked, and doing filthy things with your beautiful mouth. But considering that's not possible, please talk dirty to me."

_"You're so easily pleased."_

"And you're extremely pleasing."

_"Do you want me to tell you all the things I'm going to do to you when I get home? All the places on your body I'm going to rub myself?"_

"Rub yourself? Oh ... hell ... yes ..."

_"I've been fantasizing about you the whole time. How your new body feels under my hands. How you smell. And taste. You have no idea how horny I get just thinking about you. It's pretty mortifying considering I've been spending so much time with Dad."_

"Bella?"

_"Hmmm?"_

"Not sure if you've done this dirty talk thing before, but a helpful hint is never, _ever_ mention your father."

She laughed. _"Did I de-bone you?"_

"Not a chance. However, picturing your father while I'm aroused may scar me for life."

_"Then picture me."_

"Gladly. What are you wearing?"

_"A cheeky smile."_

"And?"

_"Nothing. Not a stitch." Oh, dear God. "If you were here you could touch me anywhere. Everywhere. I really want you to touch me everywhere."_

I moaned, partly because thinking about touching Bella was arousing beyond words, and partly because hot needles of pain shot through my erection.

_"You okay?"_ she asked. _"That sounded like a semi-bad moan."_

"It was, but I'm fine. Keep going." When she didn't, I said, "Please, Bella."

_"Do you really need me to tell you how much I want you?"_

"Want me, how?"

Her voice got breathier. More wanton._ "Inside me. Thrusting. Filling me." _

What those words did to me. The plastic around my phone creaked as my grip tightened, and I pressed a pillow against my groin to relieve the ache.

_"I know we'll have to wait until your pain is gone, but ... God, Edward. I want it so much it keeps me up at night."_

This was something we had in common.

"Only forty-eight hours to go," I said like I wasn't already half insane with separation anxiety.

_"Forty-eight hours too long."_

"I know."

We were silent for a few moments, and the pain in my chest from missing her almost eclipsed my other pain. I pressed my hand over my heart and felt the thick, unsteady thud of it. Just like the rest of me, it needed her.

_"It's getting late,"_ she said while stifling a yawn. _"You'd better get some rest."_

I hated to admit it, but she was right. I was still developing a consistent sleep pattern, but already I could feel myself beginning to fade. "I guess. You, too."

_"Yeah, Dad wants to leave by 6.30am."_

"Why?"

_"He says all the dangerous drivers hit the roads after ten, and he wants to get some decent miles behind us before that happens."_

"Well, if it means getting you home sooner, I approve."

_"Oh, believe me, I'll be driving as fast as I can. Or at least as fast as Dad lets me. Would be kind of embarrassing if he arrested me for speeding."_

I laughed. Lord, I adored her. "Please be safe, leadfoot."

_"I will. You, too. And tell Jess if she touches you again, I'm going to rip out her throat."_

"I'd like to see that. In a non-fatal kind of way, of course."

_"I can't guarantee non-fatal. I'm starting to embrace my new wolf strength, and while I might not top her newborn abilities, I'd sure as hell compensate with some very nasty hair-pulling. She'd better back off my man."_

"All this possessive talk is doing nothing to relieve my erection. You know that, right?"

_"I do, and I'm sorry. But not really. You're mine. And I'm yours. It's that simple." _

"Yes, it is." My heart hurt again, but this time in a good way. "I love you, Bella."

_"I love you, too. Talk to you tomorrow."_

"You will. Night."

The moment she hung up, I had the strongest urge to jump in my car and drive until I got to her. I could do it. If I didn't stop to eat, sleep, relieve myself, or refuel I could be there in around twenty-one hours. Screw father-daughter time. I needed Edward and Bella time. Lots of it. Preferably for the rest of my indeterminately long life.

I sighed and turned off my bedside lamp.

But first, I needed eight to ten hours of sleep. And a decent breakfast. And a warm shower. And several hundred milligrams of hospital-strength pain relief.

Being human was so high maintenance.

I loved it.

Almost as much as I loved her.

...

...

...

* * *

**Sooooo, you know how I said this sequel would be around 10 chaps long? Yeah, pretty sure that's not going to happen. Windowward has been exceedingly chatty, so I guess this is just going to be as long as it needs to be to shut him up. Maybe 20 chaps. Hope that's okay.**

**I may be going away next weekend so the update could be delayed for a few days. Depends on wifi availability in rural areas. *crosses fingers***

**If you have a moment to let me know your thoughts, I'd find that extremely sexy. Just sayin'.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Kiya x**


	6. Chapter 6

**Update: January 19th, 2013**

**Huge thanks to my Beta-Godess, Irritable_Grizzzly, and my fabulous pre-reader, Vican.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing's my fault. Ever. In life and fic.**

* * *

**Relief**

The curve of her neck. The perfect weight of her breasts in my hands. The silky taste of her, infusing and arousing me. This is where she belonged. Naked and beneath me, trailing hands up my back. Hooking fingers into my shoulders as I wound her to her breaking point.

I loved dreaming. They were all amazing, but those about Isabella were especially vivid, and even though I knew it was a fantasy, it felt real. _She_ felt real. Soft under my hands. Warm and breathless.

I missed her so much.

I touched her everywhere, and the relief I felt was boundless. The wrongness of being apart melted away, replaced by intense, muscle-trembling desire.

_"Edward ..."_

She panted and moaned. Every inch of skin was a wonder to me. Every shudder and small noise. Bringing her pleasure made my whole body come alive, and even my dreams, she never looked more beautiful than when she was naked in my arms. I reveled in her body. In mine. Greedy and indefatigable, I watched her lose herself time and again in the sensations we brought out in each other.

She touched me gently. Stroked me with feather-light touches until I couldn't stand it any more. We had to be joined. I pushed in, and oh ... yes, this. For as long as we lived, I needed this. Her. Always.

I thrust slowly, savoring how different it felt now. So powerful. So much pleasure, I couldn't comprehend it all. Each deep slide wound me tighter, almost too much to bear. But my ever-present pain was catching up. Chasing and grasping with clawed hands. Twisting in my abdomen. Piercing my scrotum.

I could feel myself groaning, but I couldn't wake up.

The warm comfort of the dream faded, and panic set in. I was no longer controlling my actions. Every movement was a compulsion. Bloody-minded in its singular purpose.

Dream-me thrust faster, and the pain eclipsed the pleasure. Obliterated it in sharp breath-stealing bursts. I was burning from the inside out. Agony lanced through me with every frantic movement and yet, I couldn't stop. I was going to come, and I braced myself, because it felt like my orgasm was going to tear muscles from bones.

_Stop it. Stop moving. Stop thrusting. Just, stop!_

But, I couldn't. In fact, I sped up. Used more force. Gasped and grunted like a man possessed.

Dream-Isabella stroked my back and urged me on. Whispered how much she loved me. How good I made her feel. How incredible I felt inside her. She gripped me as my groan became a roar, and orgasmed around me as the roar became a scream. And wWhen I finally climaxed, my scream wasn't even human any more. It was the sound of pure, savage torment, tearing out of my throat as waves of agony shredded my insides.

Then cool hands were on me, and I lurched into a sitting position, gasping for air, sweaty and breathless. My throat hurt. My dick hurt. My balls felt like they were filled with liquid fire.

"Edward?"

Carlisle. I tried to say his name, but it came out as a hoarse whisper.

He grabbed my hand. Pressed fingers against my pulse. "What happened? You were screaming. Are you all right?"

He froze for a second and sniffed the air, then dropped my hand and stepped back. "Oh, I see."

That's when I felt it. Warmth spreading from my crotch and down my thighs. Thick and viscous.

"Oh, God."

"Now, son ..." Carlisle said as he glanced at the wet patch that was spreading on the sheet covering me. "This is perfectly natural for a young man of your age. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

I pulled back the sheet. My boxers were covered in semen. It was everywhere. Seeping out of my underwear. Pooling beneath me.

"Oh," Carlisle said, at a loss for words. "That's ... uh ... well, what you have there is an unusually large amount of ejaculate."

"What the hell?" I said, horrified.

He grabbed a box of tissues and passed them to me. "I'm sure there's no reason to panic. This isn't quite normal for a human man, but then again, you're not entirely human. Plus, you haven't ejaculated anything but venom for nearly a century. Your new body must feel you have some catching up to do."

I wiped myself with handfuls of tissues and was on my fourth wad before I'd even cleared half of it. Carlisle disappeared and returned a few seconds later with a trash bag. By the time I'd wiped most of it away, the box of tissues was empty, and the bag was full.

"Fascinating," Carlisle said while he tied the bag. "Perhaps the pain you've been feeling was related to the pressure of all that ... ah ..."

"I believe the word you're looking for is 'jizz.'"

"Well, yes. I'm assuming your screams indicated it was painful to climax?"

I glared.

"Yes, of course it was," he said quickly.

"If that's what it's going to be like every time, I'm never getting laid again."

"Well, perhaps now that you've ... exploded, your next experience will be more pleasurable."

"I hope so. I also hope there'll be less ..."

"Jizz?" That word was so incongruous with his nature, it made me smile.

"Exactly. This is ridiculous."

He nodded. "It is rather excessive."

I got out of bed and headed into the bathroom. Walking was a revolting experience. It felt like my boxers had been soaked in glue. All my parts were sticking to other parts. It was incredibly unpleasant.

"Edward."

"Hmmm?" I turned on the faucet and tried to get the excess stickiness off my hands. Even with soap, it wasn't easy.

"I think this may have been the breakthrough we've been waiting for."

I turned to him. "Carlisle, I've just had the world's messiest and most excruciating wet dream that will no doubt leave me scrubbing semen off myself for days. What makes you believe this was a breakthrough?"

He smiled. "Because you just got out of bed and walked to the bathroom without a single indication of pain."

I took a moment to process that. I flexed my arms. Lifted my legs.

He was right. There were still twinges when I contracted my muscles, but the deep-seated ache that had lived in me since the change, was gone.

"How do you feel?"

I flexed again, amazed. "I feel good. Sticky, but ... great. If I'd known it would take the orgasm-from-hell to get rid of the pain, I would have done it days ago."

"Well, as much as I believe in the healing power of pleasure, I don't think you can put it down to just a wet dream. The massive anti-inflammatory injection and vitamin booster I gave you probably also helped."

"Probably."

"Still, I'm happy for you, son. This is a major step forward."

I was so relieved, I almost hugged him. Then I realized how completely gross and inappropriate that would be and settled for giving him a smile. He smiled back.

"Well, better get cleaned up," I said, trying to ignore what was running down my leg.

"Of course."

I went to close the door, but in a flash he stopped me and thrust a specimen jar in my face.

"Wait, before you shower ..."

I sighed and took the jar. "You want a sample."

"Yes, please. I'd like to test your fertility."

"Please tell me this is the last bodily function you have to test."

He nodded. "Yes. Absolutely."

He was the worst liar in the history of lies.

"Carlisle ..."

"Okay, fine. If you happened to vomit, I wouldn't complain."

I shut the door in his face.

...

...

...

Sit-ups. Push-ups. Bench presses. Advanced inverted yoga poses.

I could do it all. Effortlessly. There was still some pain, but it was like my body had rebooted.

I felt fantastic. Unstoppable.

Horny as hell.

I was counting down the time until Bella got home in minutes. And hand jobs. Carlisle had been right. After that first excruciating orgasm, I'd only felt pleasure. Now that the dam had broken, so to speak, I couldn't stop touching myself. It helped relieve the constant state of arousal in which I found myself while anticipating Bella's return. If I wasn't enjoying it so much, I'd say it was getting to be a problem.

"Are we done yet?" I asked as I sprinted on the treadmill while Carlisle monitored me. "I need to shower." I was barely out of breath. Being a vamp/human/wolf hybrid wasn't so bad after all.

"Edward, you've already showered four times this morning."

"What can I say? I'm sweaty."

"And apparently, a serial masturbator."

"Carlisle ..."

"Nothing to be ashamed of, son. We all do it."

If I didn't think it would look ridiculous, I would have put my hands over my ears. "Jesus ..."

"When our life-mates aren't around, a little self-love is sometimes the only thing that keeps us sane. Remember that time Alice went to Russia for a week with Carmen and Eleazar? Jasper was like an animal. He masturbated so often I thought I'd have to perform an extremely awkward re-attachment."

"Please stop talking."

"Even after all my years with your mother, if she calls me at work during the day, I have to fake a toilet break to relieve my -"

"For the love of God, Carlisle, shut up!"

He chuckled. He knew how uncomfortable conversations about him and Esme being intimate made me. I didn't understand why he found my mortification so hilarious.

He turned up the treadmill to its highest speed. I felt like I was jogging. He recorded my vitals and punched them into the laptop.

"Your fitness is remarkable. Your heart rate has hardly increased, and you've been working out for over two hours, non-stop. Interesting. I'll have to devise more rigorous activities to test your limits."

"Something to look forward to."

"So, Bella gets home tonight?"

"Yes. She's on her way back as we speak."

"Did she have a nice time?"

"I don't care. I just need to see her."

He smiled. "You may need to temper your desperation. Alice tells me you've been having regular fantasies about tearing off Bella's clothes as soon as you see her. For all of our sakes, please don't."

Having him say that made me fantasize about her. Upstairs, Alice yelled, "Edward ...!"

"It's not my fault," I said and threw up my hands. "Carlisle brought her up. I was just running and minding my own business."

In a second, Alice appeared beside me. "You were not. You're been fantasizing about her constantly since your little dreamgasm yesterday. And you've been touching yourself way too much. No one needs that many showers."

"I thought you couldn't read me because of the wolf blood."

"Unfortunately, my visions of you are becoming clearer. And more frequent. Now that the pain's gone, and there's nothing standing in the way of you and Bella being intimate, you're driving us all crazy with lust. Especially Jasper."

"And you're complaining?"

She thought about it for a second. "Well ... uh ... no."

"Then why are you bothering me instead of jumping your horny husband?"

She frowned. "Good point." There was a rush of air as she disappeared, then noises I really didn't need to hear from my siblings.

"Carlisle, are we done?"

I could tell he was trying to block out the noises, too.

"Apparently."

He hit the stop button on the treadmill, and it ground to a halt. I pulled the electrodes off my torso and grabbed a towel.

"So, son, I take it you want to have sex with Bella when she gets back, correct?"

I felt like saying 'duh', but I realized how uncouth that was. Then I realized I was biologically seventeen and said it anyway.

"Well then, we should probably talk about protection. I won't have definitive results regarding your fertility for a couple of days, and you've never used a condom, have you?"

I really hated discussing this stuff with him. I'd rather talk with pretty much _anyone_ else about it. Even Jacob.

Maybe that was going a bit far, but still.

"Edward?"

"No, I've never used a condom. Never had the need, being all dead."

"That's what I thought." He reached under the bench and brought out a large banana and a foil square. "Welcome to Condom Application 101."

I rubbed my eyes. "Carlisle, I have two medical degrees. I'm certain I can figure out how to use a condom."

"Are you sure? It's trickier than it looks. I wouldn't want you to embarrass yourself in front of Bella."

"I'll be fine."

"The demonstration won't take long."

"Carlisle ..."

There were crashing sounds from upstairs, followed by Jasper yelling an instruction to my sister I wished I hadn't heard.

"Okay," Carlisle said and cleared his throat. "As long as you're sure."

"I am. I'm going for a run." I strode past him then stopped, took two steps back, grabbed the banana out of his hand, and headed out.

By the time I'd reached the top of the stairs, I'd peeled the banana and eaten half of it. By the time I'd reached the back door, the rest of it was gone. Food was awesome. I was almost as insatiable for it as I was for Isabella. Considering I couldn't have her right now, food would have to be a poor substitute. I took off running and discarded the peel several hundred yards away from the house.

After a few seconds, I couldn't hear Jasper and Alice any more. Thank God.

Running felt good. I no longer had vampire speed, but I was still fast. Very fast. It was freeing. My feet pounded the ground as I ducked and weaved through the trees. Everything smelled amazing. Different than before. My vampire senses used to be so acute everything assaulted me at once, and I had to compartmentalize and sort through the myriad of scents to find those which were useful. Now, everything was clear but less intense. Pine needles, dirt, wildflowers, moss. It all smelled new and interesting.

I was still able to pick up animal scents, and without really choosing to, I followed them. Even though I no longer had the need for animal blood, I still had the urge to hunt. I wondered if it was just force of habit or a primal instinct derived from the wolf blood. Perhaps a bit of both.

Without the constraints of debilitating pain, my new body exceeded my expectations. I knew I'd be stronger and faster than a human, but as I pushed myself, I realized both Carlisle and I may have underestimated hybrid physiology.

I followed a herd of deer north, not as stealthy as I used to be but still able to keep up with them. I slowed when they drank from a nearby stream. As I took in a deep breath, their scent made all my muscles coil. My predator instincts flared, and I stalked forward, silent and focused. My heart pounded with the thrill of the hunt, and adrenaline coursed through me. The elk directly in front of me spooked, but just as she prepared to leap away, I pounced.

I slammed into her and wrapped my arms around her thick chest, easily bringing her to the ground. She thrashed and bleated, but I held firm. My mouth was next to her neck, and it was strange to not have the urge to tear into her hide and swallow down mouthfuls of warm blood. Today, I was satisfied with the thrill of the chase and my obvious victory.

I said, "Thanks for the game, ma'am," before releasing her and watching her bound away into the forest.

I sprang off the ground, invigorated and dizzy with power. "I've still got it," I said to myself as I brushed leaves and mud off my shorts and headed back toward the house. "Oh, yeah. I've still got it."

...

...

...

I bounded up the stairs two at a time and rushed into my bedroom. Emmett and Jasper had helped me move my bed back upstairs this morning, and now I had just over an hour to shower and get ready for Bella's return. I was so excited, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

I stepped into the shower and washed myself thoroughly. To be honest, I spent way too much time cleaning my penis, but it felt too good to stop. I hadn't told Bella I was in full working order yet, and I hoped it would be a pleasant surprise.

_Hi, sweetheart. Welcome home. Let me introduce you to my fully healed and extremely aroused body. It's missed you so much._

That mental image had me attending to my greedy erection all over again. It needed her, almost as much as I did. I couldn't wait to see what our new bodies felt like when joined. The mere thought of it had me leaning against the tiles and groaning through my climax. My hybrid orgasms were astounding. So much sensation no longer marred by the distracting images of violence and death that used to assail me.

After washing my hair, I got out and shaved. My scruff was almost a beard, and it took three razors to achieve a smooth finish. My trembling hands did nothing to help my technique, but at least accelerated healing meant I didn't have to endure the indignity of walking around with tiny bits of tissue stuck to my face.

I dressed in fresh jeans and a t-shirt and spent too long trying to convince my hair to look like I'd made an effort. Bella wouldn't care. I was pretty sure that whatever I wore would be torn from my body a few minutes after she walked in the door. I'd prepped my family to say their 'hellos' quickly then let us have the house for the night. If I had my way, in just over forty-five minutes, I'd be making loud, passionate love to my life-mate, and I really didn't want my family to witness it.

By the time I got downstairs, there was only half an hour to go.

I walked into the kitchen to find Esme cooking up a storm.

"You know it's just the two of us, right?" I said as I surveyed the mountain of food.

"I know, but if Bella's appetite is anything like yours, you're going to need all this and more."

"Esme, we may not even make it to dinner."

She stopped and glared. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, if you let all of this food go to waste, I'm going to kill you. Then reanimate you and kill you again. Bella's been traveling all day. She'll be hungry and exhausted. Let the poor girl eat."

No matter how exhausted Bella may be, I knew the first thing she'd want to do was get her hands on me. Still, I supposed that after we took the edge off our lust, we could eat something. Then each other.

I wandered into the living room. Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett were sitting around watching the cooking channel. I think they were coveting all the food they were going to eat after they were changed.

"Where's Jessica?"

"With Jacob," Emmett said without taking his eyes off the screen. "Man, look what she's doing to that meat. It looks freaking delicious." He nudged Rose. "Babe, when we've turned, could you cook that for me? Naked?"

I rolled my eyes and went outside.

Twenty minutes to go.

I paced on the porch for a while, but when I heard Alice giggling hysterically, I headed back inside.

"What?" She looked at me and laughed again. "Alice, what is it?"

She stifled her mirth long enough to say, "They've just gotten back into town. Bella will be here in about ten minutes."

My stomach flipped, and my heart took off like a racehorse. She'd need to take a quick detour past her house to drop off Charlie, but then she'll be here. Thank God.

Alice giggled again. It made me nervous. Her displaying this much glee could only mean one thing - I was about to get screwed, and not in a good way.

"Alice ..."

"You'll see when she gets here."

"Alice!"

"No, Edward, you'll just have to wait." She waggled her finger at me, and I wanted to break it off. My sister should know better than to taunt me when I hadn't seen my mate for five days. Pretty sure my hybrid body was capable of taking her down within a few seconds.

"One day, Alice ... pow, right in the kisser."

She snorted, and I stalked outside to wait. I hated waiting.

After the longest seven minutes of my life, I heard a car in the distance. My car. I'd persuaded Bella to take my Lexus. It was the least ostentatious of my vehicles, and the only one she'd agree to drive. There was no way I was letting her take her death-trap truck on a road trip of any kind, let alone to Canada. She would have frozen to death before she'd reached the border.

As the car got closer, my excitement levels went through the roof. Adrenaline flooded my body. Increased the oxygen consumption of my muscles. Made me jittery and hungry for action. Any action. Preferably an obscene amount of sex.

An image of making love to Bella flickered in my brain. I'd never wanted anything more in my life than to race to that car, rip off the door, carry her upstairs, and pleasure her for untold hours. I was rock hard just thinking about it.

"Edward, gross," Alice muttered as my family filed out of the front door and loitered on the porch. I stood on the bottom step and tried to resist running down the driveway to meet her.

When the car appeared through the trees, I stopped breathing. There was stifled laughter from behind me, which I ignored.

It was only when the car got closer that I realized what they were laughing about.

_No._

_No, no, no, no._

Through the windshield, I could see Bella's unhappy expression.

_Oh, sweetheart, how did this happen?_

In the car next to her was her father.

All my plans for a marathon sexual reunion vanished in the blink of an eye.

My poor, desperate erection almost screamed in frustration.

...

...

...

* * *

**Oh, damn, Charlie, what the ...? You are SUCH a mean cockblocker. You. Not me. Absolutely not me.**

**If you have time to let me know your thoughts, that would be even nicer than a light but firm spanking.**

**Thank you so much for reading.**

**Kiya x**


	7. Chapter 7

**Update: February 24th, 2013**

**Apologies for such a tardy update. I blame my amazing BetaGoddess who jumped on a plane for 14 hrs just to come visit me in Oz. We had an incredible few weeks together, but got surprisingly little work done. Going to try to get back on track with a weekly/fortnightly schedule in coming weeks.**

**Giant smooshings to my pre-reader, Vican, whose finely timed use of the Grumpy Cat gif made me fall off my chair laughing.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

**:)**

* * *

**Boiling Point**

I stared at Charlie in the passenger seat as the car approached, and for the first time since the change, I was assaulted by a barrage of homicidal thoughts.

I wanted to hurt him. A lot.

"Dude," Emmett said beside me. "Calm down. You look like you're going to murder him."

The way I was feeling, it was possible.

It wasn't that I disliked Bella's father ... Well, that wasn't true. He'd just spent five days with her while I languished in purgatory. I hated him a significant amount.

Still, the collage of violence flashing through my mind felt extreme, even for me.

"Edward ..." There was an edge of warning in Jasper's voice.

I took a deep breath. It didn't help. Jasper placed his hand on my shoulder and hit me with a dose of empathic Valium. It took the edge off, but resentment and frustration still ran hot in my blood.

I needed her. His presence was preventing me from having her, and therefore he needed to be eliminated. In my lust-crazed mind, it was simple logic.

Thankfully, as soon as the car stopped, my entire focus was on the stunning woman inside. In a second I was beside her door, and the hinges complained as I threw it open and pulled her into my arms.

I didn't care that I moved too fast or displayed too much strength. I didn't care that I could feel the vague prickle of suspicion in her father's thoughts. I absolutely didn't care that my family was no doubt waiting for formal introductions. The only thing I cared about was Bella as she made a small noise of relief and wound her fingers through my hair. Her heart was thudding against my chest, her scent in my nostrils, her breath on my neck. All the parts of her fitting to me as if designed for that sole and perfect purpose.

She was home. Finally.

_God, yes._

I exhaled, and the tension that had been steadily coiling from the moment she left, melted as I enveloped her. Having her in my arms felt like the very definition of 'right.' Soul mate. Lover. Friend. Singer. All applied to her. And yet none of them described the absolute soul-deep connection that joined us.

"I've missed you," I whispered into her neck. She took in a shaky breath and squeezed me tighter. I took that to mean she'd missed me too.

Behind us, Charlie cleared his throat. The urge to hurdle the car and rip out his throat flared.

I had to remind myself I wasn't a killer any more. Sure, I'd kill to protect Bella. And my family. But it was no longer part of my innate nature.

He cleared his throat again.

Okay, I could be convinced to kill for excessive throat clearing. That obnoxious little sound implied he wanted me to extricate myself from his daughter, and there was no way in the goddamn world that was going to happen. If he cleared his throat again, I'd remove his larynx.

"Stop it," Bella whispered as she stroked my back.

I ran my nose along her neck. "What?"

"You're growling. Not loud enough for him to hear, but still ..."

I buried my head into her neck and inhaled. Lord, her scent. My whole body blazed and ached. Fortunately, it distracted me from my need to murder her father.

"Chief Swan, I presume," my father said, filling the awkward silence. "I'm Carlisle Cullen. It's so nice to finally meet you. Bella speaks of you often."

"Yeah, you, too," Charlie said in his usual gruff manner.

"This is my wife, Esme, and my family, Rosalie and Emmett, and Alice and Jasper."

I glanced up to see my siblings smiling warmly. Charlie frowned, and the suspicion in his thoughts deepened. I couldn't blame him. Humans registered danger when in the presence of a vampire. It was instinctual self-preservation. However, when a trained investigator like Charlie was confronted with half-a-dozen ultimate predators, his danger radar must have been screaming off-the-charts. Not to mention, I was still having intermittent fantasies about removing his vocal chords.

"Bella says you're all visiting from Alaska," he said.

"Yes. Although we're considering making a permanent move south. We're a little tired of the snow."

"That'd explain why you're all so pale, I guess."

Rosalie laughed. "Yes, I can't wait to get a tan. It feels like it's been decades."

My family continued to make small talk. I tuned out. Bella was filling my senses, and I was grateful we had a few precious moments to ourselves.

"I'm sorry," Bella whispered, her cheek against my chest. "I tried to convince him not to come, but he insisted."

"Why is he here?"

"I don't know. To meet everyone? I guess I've babbled on about you all to the point where he's curious. I hope it'll just be a short visit." She lifted herself so her lips were against my ear and said, "I need you," and the way she pressed against me made me burn even more.

"I need you, too. You have no idea how much."

"Unless you've taken to hiding a steel bar in your pants, I think I do. How's your pain?"

"Gone."

She pulled back and looked up at me. "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

She slapped my arm. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Dammit, Edward, if I'd known, I would have ejected my father from a moving car and ripped your clothes off as soon as I got here. Do you have any clue how many ways I've fantasized about fucking you while I was away?"

At that point, the polite conversation a short distance away ground to a dead halt.

Emmett snorted. Alice put her hands over her face. Charlie cleared his throat again. I resisted punching him in the neck and did that horrible blushing thing that made my face burn.

"Really didn't intend everyone to hear that," Bella mumbled.

"Really wish I hadn't heard it," Charlie said, his voice like flint. Then he rubbed his eyes and turned back to my parents. "Anyway, I don't mean to impose on you folks for long. Just figured it was time for Edward and me to have a chat. Man to man."

_Well, man to hybrid is more accurate, but whatever._

"Everything all right, Chief?" Carlisle asked.

"Fine," Charlie said. "Just figured it's time to get a few things straight between us. I won't keep him long. Edward? Let's take a walk."

He took a few steps back and waited for me to follow. Was he insane? Did he honestly think I was capable of leaving his daughter's side after I just got her back? Not happening.

"Edward," Esme said, "I'm sure Charlie won't keep you for long. Besides, Bella would probably like to freshen up after her long journey."

I ground my teeth. Asking me to step away from Bella was like asking me to remove an extremity. Just the thought of it made me anxious. I wasn't sure, but I think I scowled at my mother.

"Edward?" I read embarrassment in Esme's thoughts. I was being rude. It wasn't like me. It also wasn't wise in front of the Chief. Unfortunately, it seemed to be out of my control.

"No rush, Mr. Cullen," Charlie said under his breath. "I've got all day."

I was about to tell the Chief to go to hell when Bella squeezed my hand and stepped away. The absence of her immediately churned my stomach.

"You two should chat," she said quietly. "Esme's right. I'd like to shower. I'm gross."

Gross? I'd never found 'gross' so arousing in my life.

She gestured with her head for me to go with her father.

I traced my gaze down her neck to her cleavage. So beautiful. I wanted to rub my face all over that creamy skin. Leave my mark. Try out my new non-fatal teeth. Make her groan my name until she could no longer speak.

She cleared her throat. Unlike her father, she made it seem unbelievably sexy.

"Edward ..." She stepped forward and put her hand on my chest. It did nothing to distract from the haze of lust. I wanted to shred my t-shirt to connect with bare skin. I needed her touch. Craved it more each second. Had to have it. Soon.

No, not soon.

Now.

Please, God, now.

"Edward?" I could barely focus. I blinked. She touched my face. "I know how you feel," she whispered. "I feel it, too, but you have to hold it together."

Her fingers curled into my pectoral. She was telling me to go, but she didn't want it. She wanted me. Every movement confirmed it. The way she leaned in to me. Her eyes on my mouth. The slow, lust-drunk blinks.

I gripped her hips. Pulled her against me. Let her feel my desire. Watched her join me in the fog.

She closed her eyes and swallowed, and I longed to suck on her tongue.

"Please ..." she said as she pulled my hands away from her. "Go talk to Charlie. For me."

She took a deep breath and with obvious effort and headed into the house without a backward glance. I wanted to roar out my frustration and follow her. Instead, I glared at Chief Swan.

Bella wanted us to have a conversation, so we would. Didn't mean I had to be happy about it.

"Let's make this quick."

I fell into step beside him, and we walked around to the back of the house. The backyard stretched a few of hundred yards to the tree line, and we headed over to a pair of benches under a large oak.

We sat opposite each other, and Charlie stared at me with narrowed eyes.

"You look different than when I saw you last. Bigger. More muscles. Less pale."

I ground my teeth. "I've been working out. Getting some sun."

"You're eyes are different, too. They used to be a weird gold color."

"Contacts. Got sick of them. Green is my natural color."

"Uh huh." He wasn't convinced.

My patience was practically non-existent, and I rubbed my face as my need to get back to Isabella prickled across my skin. I tried to keep my tone civil. "What is it you wanted to discuss, Chief? I'm pretty sure it's not the color of my eyes."

He stared at his hands as I struggled to stay polite. This was new for me. I felt out-of-control in a way I never had before. Compulsion was taunting me. Screaming to get back to Bella as soon as possible.

I chanted 'get on with it' in my head seven times before Charlie eventually spoke.

"Listen, Edward," he said, "I need to ask you something. I've tried talking to Bella about it but ... I couldn't. I was hoping she'd tell me on her own, but she hasn't said a word all week. So I'm asking you, and I expect a straight answer." He looked at me sharply, and I hated that he still intimidated me. "Did you get my daughter pregnant?"

It took a moment to register his words. "What?"

"You heard me, Cullen, pregnant. Did you knock her up? The whole time she was away, she ate like a horse. Now, I know my daughter and food. She's not a big eater. Never has been. Suddenly she's eating four courses for every meal? I'm not stupid, son. There's only one thing that could cause that."

"Chief, she's not pregnant."

"You know that for sure?"

All my uncomfortable conversations with my father faded into insignificance. Talking about sex with my lover's father was the pinnacle of uncomfortable.

"I'm pretty sure," I said, unable to look at him. "We've been ... careful." Actually, we hadn't, but considering I'd only ejaculated inside her while a vampire, and therefore sterile, the chances she was pregnant were nil. "Maybe she's eating more because she's exercising. She told me she's been running."

"Yeah. She runs every day. From a girl who used to think exercise was a form of torture, that's weird, too."

"Well, I don't think you can blame me for her wanting to exercise." After all, it was Jacob's blood that changed her. In fact, I still had an unhealthy amount of resentment about that. His blood did what my venom couldn't. The thought that he'd always be a part of her, and me, inspired equal amounts of gratitude and jealousy.

"Chief, Bella is changing her lifestyle. It's as simple as that. Nothing to worry about. Now, is that all you wanted to discuss? Because I haven't seen your daughter for a long time, and if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to ..." _being inside_ "... her."

"There was one more thing."

_Dammit._

I waited for him to continue with obvious impatience. I didn't enjoy being borderline rude, but I seemed helpless to stop it. Right now, anything that kept me from Bella's side was unacceptable.

"Mr. Cullen, you know me well enough to understand I care about Bella more than anything. She's my only child, and one I aim to see happy. So, if you get it into your head to hurt her again, in any way, know that I will tear you limb from limb and hide your body parts where they'll never be found."

I had to respect his ferocity.

"You have nothing to worry about, Chief. Believe me."

"So you say, but let's examine the facts. You came into her life out of nowhere, and because of you she broke up with her boyfriend of two years. Then you left town for two months, and she turned into a zombie. Now you're back and she's obsessed all over again. In our time away, she never stopped talking about you. It's like she can't deal with being away from you. That's not healthy."

"We love each other."

"This isn't just love, son. This is ... weird. It's like she's addicted to you."

"As I am to her. What we have is very powerful. Surely you can understand that."

"I trust my instincts enough to know you're hiding something, and it's only going to be a matter of time before I find out what. I sure haven't forgotten that your arrival in town coincided with two murders which remain unsolved."

"Chief, you know I didn't kill those people."

"Perhaps, but it's one hell of a coincidence that they happened after you arrived. Now, Bella's an adult and I have no say in who she dates, but if I find one shred of evidence connecting you to so much as a parking ticket, I'm going to make life very difficult for you."

Considering he was currently preventing me from making loud, passionate love to my woman, I'd say he'd already started.

"Well, I have been booked for speeding, but you already knew about that."

"Don't sass me, son. I'm being serious."

I sighed. This had gone on long enough.

"Chief, I understand your concern for your daughter and your resulting dislike for me. It's a natural paternal reaction when confronted with another strong male presence."

The chief snorted, and I somehow let it pass without head-butting him.

"But let me assure you, there is _nothing_ more important to me than Isabella's wellbeing and happiness. She's the most amazing, passionate, intelligent, witty, loving woman I've ever met, and I'm blessed to have her in my life. I worship her. Revere her. Love her more than I thought myself capable of loving anything. If you trust nothing else about me, trust that."

I looked him square in the eye, so he could feel my sincerity. "You see, even though you may not like me, you can take solace in that your daughter is loved beyond most people's comprehension of the word. I'll never give you, or her, cause to doubt that."

He stared at me for several disconcerting seconds, but I didn't flinch. I'd gone through hell to be worthy of his daughter, and there was no way he was going to intimidate me into believing I didn't deserve her. I did. More importantly, she deserved me. One day, he'd understand that.

He broke eye contact and sighed. "I'd like to think what you're saying is true, but here's the thing: forever seems like a very short time for people your age. Things change. People move on. One day you might wake up to find your so-called 'perfect love' is crumbling around you, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. There's no way in hell I'm going to watch Bella go through that."

I stared at the Chief. Bella hadn't gone into a lot of detail about what happened between her parents, but I knew enough to understand that Charlie Swan didn't want his daughter turning out like him.

On that subject, we were in perfect agreement.

"Chief, I think there are two types of people in this world: those who fall in love over and over again, and those who fall in love just once. I'm in the latter group. I think that's something you and I have in common. I'm sorry the one with whom you fell in love wasn't the same way, but believe me when I say that Bella's the one for me. I'll never want anything or anyone more than her. I'll never wake up one morning thinking I've made a mistake or feel trapped by the life we make together."

Charlie looked away. A muscle twitched in his jaw, and for the first time since meeting him, I saw vulnerability. In that moment, putting his mind at ease slightly trumped my need to get back to Bella.

"You need to understand that the way I feel for Bella isn't some kind of adolescent infatuation. I'm not a boy going through a phase. I'm a grown man who's seen and done more in his years than he ought to, and I know enough about the vagaries of life to know my feelings for Bella aren't one of them. Please believe that. I love her. Until my dying day, I will continue to love her. I know this as surely as I know the sun will rise tomorrow in the east. I hope you keep that in mind when I come to you in the near future and ask for her hand in marriage."

He snapped his head up to look at me. His face went red. Very red. I waited for him to laugh, or shoot me down, or tell me to go to hell, but he just swallowed several times and stayed silent.

I took it as a good sign.

I also took it as the end to our conversation.

"Now, was there anything else?" He shook his head. Thank God. "All right then, if you don't mind, I'd really like to go spend some time with your magnificent daughter."

I stood and waited for him to follow, but he stared at me for a few seconds before shaking his head and laughing.

"I'll say one thing for you, Mr. Cullen, you're not short on confidence."

"With a woman like Isabella in my life, I've no reason to be. I'm the luckiest man on the planet, and I know it."

"I still don't like you. Or trust you."

"Fair enough. Just know I'm determined to change your mind."

He laughed again. "Yeah, good luck with that."

...

...

...

When we got back to the house, my family was still milling around on the porch, no doubt eavesdropping.

Esme struck up a conversation with Charlie while he waited to say goodbye to Bella. I was grateful, because my desperation had rendered me a pacing, impatient mess.

How long could it possibly take for her to shower?

"She's almost done," Carlisle whispered. "And you need to calm down, son. Your pulse is deafening. I'm surprised Charlie can't hear it."

"I'll be calm when Bella's back."

"Judging by your reaction earlier, your pulse speeds up even further when she's near. If you were human, I'd diagnose you with acute supraventricular tachycardia and order you to immediate bed rest. Even taking your new biology into consideration, I have concerns."

"I'd be okay with you ordering me to bed, as long as it was with Bella."

"Considering she exhibits nearly identical symptoms, that might be prudent. However, I suspect if you were together, there'd be a definite lack of rest."

"Maybe, but she'd make me calm. Eventually." After I'd made love to her countless times and collapsed in a sweaty, satiated heap.

I heard footsteps on the stairs, and my heart raced even more. Carlisle sighed.

"At least try to relax," he said. "Your mother isn't happy about how rude you were earlier. If it continues she may retaliate, and you know that won't go well for anyone."

I didn't have time to reply because Bella flew out of the house and launched herself at me from the porch. Caught off guard, I toppled backward onto the driveway and landed with a complete lack of grace with Bella on top of me. She was freshly showered and smelled like a woman-shaped smörgåsbord. My mouth watered. I wanted to lick her all over.

"Sorry," she said, not sounding sorry at all.

"No problem. I enjoyed it."

Her body was pressing against mine. Of course I enjoyed it. I was still enjoying it. Especially when she squirmed against my erection.

I absently stroked her back. She made a weird noise in the back of her throat. If it wasn't a ridiculous concept, I'd swear she was purring.

As she squirmed against me again, I groaned. She raised an eyebrow. "Want me to get off?"

I pulled her more firmly against me. "Oh, you have no idea how much I want that."

This time Carlisle cleared his throat. I barely heard him. I wanted to roll her over and settle between her legs. Rub myself against her until her eyes rolled back into her head, and the ache in my groin eased.

"Edward ..." Bella said. The tension in her voice was obvious. She wanted it just as much.

"God, Bella." We had roaming hands. It was G-rated for the moment, but rapidly heading toward PG-13. If I had my way, they'd be R with XXX firmly in their sights. I knew what we were doing was inappropriate, but I couldn't stop myself.

Esme cleared her throat. By now, I'd gotten quite adept at ignoring throat clearing from all comers.

She did it again. I cupped Bella's buttocks. A second later, I recognized a tone to Esme's thoughts that filled me with dread.

"So, Charlie," Esme said, over enunciating for my benefit. "Won't you come inside? I've prepared plenty of food for dinner, and we'd love for you to stay. Right, everyone?"

Bella and I broke apart with matching expressions of horror. My siblings were laughing under their breath.

Esme smiled at us.

Oh, no, this wasn't happening. Not now.

She winked at me.

Obviously, it was.

Bella and I scrambled to our feet and dusted off our clothes.

Charlie opened his mouth to decline, but my mother said, "Oh, come now, Charlie. You must be starved after all that traveling. I simply won't take no for an answer."

She took his arm and led him onto the porch. Charlie mumbled, "Uh, all right, then," and eyed my family nervously.

Jasper looked at me and whispered, "Checkmate." Alice smacked him on the arm, but she was enjoying my discomfort, too.

I clenched my jaw so hard I thought I might break teeth.

No. This situation was untenable.

There was no way I could wait until after dinner to touch Bella. Out of all the impossible things in this world, that was the most impossible. I furiously tried to come up with a way I could steal Bella away to ease the ache of our lust without her father noticing.

My mother was on to me. She turned when she reached the front door and said, "Bella, Edward - you have driveway dirt all over you. Why don't you get cleaned up for dinner? In the downstairs bathroom. With the door open."

She gave me a pointed look then escorted Charlie inside. My amused siblings followed.

Carlisle turned to us.

"You'd better do as you're told. Your mother's in a mischievous mood. If you annoy her, she'll probably invite Charlie to spend the night and make you sleep in separate rooms."

I brushed dirt off my jeans. "Jesus, Carlisle, she's torturing me because I've been a little rude?"

"Actually, son, you've been a lot rude. To her and to Charlie. Not to mention you and Bella are behaving like animals in heat. Now, I understand your mating bond is in full effect and therefore affecting your cognition and inhibitions, but you must learn to control it. I also suspect another layer of compulsion has been added by the wolf blood, and while I'd like nothing more than to investigate that further, right now, we need to feed Charlie and get him out of here before you drive us all insane. I strongly suggest you both try not to give Esme any more ammunition. As much as I find her mischievousness attractive, I doubt you'd enjoy it continuing."

I dropped my head in defeat. He was right.

I took Bella's hand and led her inside to the bathroom. Even holding her hand inflamed me, but I did as Esme requested and left the door open. It took monumental effort.

Looking at us both in the mirror, I could see what Carlisle was talking about. Our eyes were dark and wild. Pupils fully dilated. Cheeks bright with color. Skin so desperate for sensation, all the hairs were standing on end. If desperate lust were to take human form and walk the earth, it would look like me and Isabella.

"You look …" Her gaze raked over me. "God, Edward …"

The way she said it implied she thought I looked like a god. The way she looked at me confirmed it. Her hands opened and closed by her sides, and the air was thick with the tension of all the things she wasn't doing. Her mind screamed of desire. She wanted to touch me, and I wanted to be touched. The absence of fulfilment made the bathroom walls inch closer with every passing second.

Calling on infinite control, I opened the cabinet beneath the sink and pulled out a washcloth. After running it under the faucet, I picked up Bella's hand and washed her arm. It wasn't that dirty, but I ran the cloth slowly up and down dozens of times, mesmerized by the droplets of moisture and the patterns made by the movement of fabric on skin. I fantasized those patterns were caused by my tongue, and had to swallow several times in response.

"That part of me is clean now," she said, low and breathy. "However, there are other parts that could use that kind of attention."

I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. Over the years, I'd learned to cultivate a substantial amount of control over my base desires. As a vampire, my control was impressive. Not everyone could resist human blood for long periods of time, or, in fact, at all. When I met Isabella, my control was elevated to legendary status. I shouldn't have been able to resist my singer, and yet I did. In the annals of vampire history, it was unheard of.

As a hybrid, all it took to make me come undone was a simple sentence uttered by my unbelievably arousing mate.

I pressed her against the wall and bent until my lips were barely grazing hers. "Saying things like that will get us both into trouble. You realize that, right?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You have other areas that need attention?"

"I was talking about my other arm."

"No, you weren't."

"What was I talking about then?"

I cupped her head. She licked her lips in response. "Don't do it, Edward. You know we won't be able to stop."

"Just one kiss."

"With us, it's never just one kiss."

"I need to taste you."

"Edward …"

"I'll be able to stop."

"No, you won't."

"Screw it, then."

I pulled her against me and kissed her fiercely.

_Sweet Jesus._

I nearly fell over with the force of my body's reaction. Within seconds I was hard as titanium and out of control, and I fisted her shirt so forcefully, one of the seams gave way. Without pain to temper it, my desire was like a juggernaut. Immense and unstoppable. It flooded and filled me, fueled by the taste of her. Silk lips. Soft tongue. Low, desperate noises that destroyed any self-discipline I possessed.

She was right, I couldn't stop.

Didn't want to.

I needed her.

Now.

I grabbed at the waistband of her jeans. Tugged. Tried to find the button. Needed to find her softness beneath the denim.

She pushed my chest and stepped back. Thank God she was stronger than I was."We can't," she said, her breathing rough and her voice quiet. "Seriously. Esme will kill us. Not to mention, Charlie. You don't even know how on-edge I am right now. I have a real fear I'm going to shred your jeans and ride you in front of my father, and that would scar all of us for life. As long as he's here, we have to keep our distance. Do that again, and I won't be able to stop myself." I moved forward, but she pushed me again. Harder. Angry. "Dammit, Edward, how the hell can you be even more attractive to me now than when I left? That's insane. Stop it."

I felt the same way. She was irresistible. More so than before our separation. Her scent was intoxicating. It devastated my self-control. All but demolished logic or modesty. It hooked lusty hands into my body and begged me to do its deep, warm, thrusting bidding.

"And you have to stop looking at me like that," Bella said, hitting my chest. "I mean, for the love of God, how the hell do you expect me to resist that?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. Being in this enclosed space with her was killing me. All I could smell was her. The scent drew me in like a magnet, and the primal urges were becoming impossible to deny. I wanted to possess her. Claim her and mark her as mine. Fuck her.

Oh, dear God, how I wanted to fuck her.

Esme appeared at the door. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"What's taking so long?" she asked, clearly knowing the answer and being irritated by it. "You two haven't even cleaned up yet. Remember, the longer you take, the longer Charlie stays. It's up to you."

She left with a smug smile, and I grunted in frustration. Bella tugged on her hair and sighed.

"Let's get dinner over with," I said as I turned on the faucet and lathered my hands. "If we behave ourselves, Esme will let Charlie go home and the rest of the night is ours. And let me tell you, there will be no sleep. Possibly for days. I'm going to live between your legs. Don't fucking doubt it."

I dried my hands and looked up to see Bella staring at them.

"Your fingers," she said and licked her lips. "Your fingers are just ... so ... " She moaned, and before I knew what she was doing, she'd grabbed my hand and had pulled my index finger into her mouth.

"Oh ... fuck ... Bella ..."

She swirled her tongue, soft and warm. I closed my eyes as sensation overtook me. Tension and pleasure tightened in my abdomen, and I groaned, throbbing and desperate for more. I needed her mouth all over me. Around me. Suction, and thrusting, and coming in thick, devastating waves.

_"Edward! Bella! Dinner is served! Don't make me tell you again!" _

We both froze. I was panting, aching, and frustrated. Bella removed my finger from her mouth. I wanted to put my fist through the wall.

_"Now, you two!"_

We stepped away from each other and finished washing up with stilted, aggressive movements. I'd never been so hard in my life. If I didn't get relief soon, I wasn't sure what I'd do.

"We can get through this," Bella said and watched herself in the mirror as she combed her hair with her fingers. "No problem."

_Tear her clothes off. Do it. You both want it. Bend her over the sink and take her. Wrap her hair in your hands. Make her come. To hell with Esme._

"Right. No problem." I swallowed and clenched my hands.

_Bite, and suck, and thrust. Do it. You have to. Do it now._

Bella turned to me, every bit as out of control as I was. "Just don't touch me, okay? Or look at me. Or exist."

"Right. No existing. Got it."

_She'd feel so good. Warm, and wet, and ... fuck ... want. WANT._

She reached out to touch me but stopped herself at the last minute. Her lust was whispering to her, too.

"Edward ..."

"I know."

"This is impossible."

"I know."

She let out the most frustrated noise I've ever heard.

"Fine," she said, bitterly. "Now, let's get out of here before I rip off your t-shirt with my teeth."

I squeezed my eyes shut and exhaled. "Oh, the things I'm going to do to you when your father is gone."

She grazed her hand across my swollen crotch and squeezed. "Ditto."

_"Bella! Edward!"_

"Coming!" we yelled in frustrated unison.

As we walked out to the dining room, the sexual tension between us wasn't so much simmering as boiling, and unless we watched our step, dinner would be a disaster of epic proportions.

...

...

...

* * *

**The moral of this chapter? Don't piss off Esme lest she epically cockblock you. Let's hope Charlie eats fast so B & E can finally enjoy some hot hybrid schmexing.**

**If you have a chance to let me know your thoughts, I'd be as turned on as Edward. No, really.**

**Thanks for reading :)**

**Kiya x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Update: March 18th, 2013**

**Huge thanks to my amazing Beta-Goddess, Irritable_Grizzzly, and my incredible pre-reader, Vican. I adore them both for always making me better.**

**:)**

* * *

**Supernova**

Charlie was laughing. Loudly. So was Emmett. They bandied words about football, and point spreads, and dissected the technical skills of grown men who played with odd-shaped balls for a living.

I didn't roll my eyes. I didn't scowl. In fact, I smiled amiably and acted like I wasn't calling on the self-control of Gandhi to prevent myself from launching across the table and defiling Bella in several hundred perverted ways.

My performance was Oscar-worthy.

As angry I was being forced to endure this situation, I accepted responsibility for having been rude to Charlie and Esme, and was determined to not let it continue. Come hell or high water, I'd look like I was having a good time.

Beside me, my mother whispered, "I'm sorry."

I gave her my most loving and sincere smile. "You will be."

She took my hand and squeezed it. For the past hour, her thoughts had been sympathetic and remorseful, but if she thought this stunt was going to go unanswered, she was sorely mistaken.

Contemplating my revenge, I extricated my hand and ate the last few bites from my plate. It was only my fourth course, but I was full. Well, not full, but hungry for something other than food.

I swallowed and glanced over at Bella. She refused to even look in my direction. Clever girl. I adjusted myself under the table as she polished off another course like she was starving. Seeing her attack her food like a wild animal was beyond arousing. I was so mesmerized, everything went into slow motion. I held my breath as she scooped up a huge forkful of pasta and shoved it in her mouth, then watched in fascinated awe as she sucked up the long strands and coated her chin in sauce. My dick ached to be that spaghetti.

"Chief?" Jasper said in a strangled tone as he fought to control his power. "Can I get you anything else, or are you done there?"

Charlie shook his head. "No, thanks. I'm good. Everything was delicious, Mrs. Cullen. Thanks for the invite. Now that Bella isn't spending as much time at home, I don't get much home cooking."

A guilty look passed across Bella's face, but it didn't stop her from shoving nearly an entire breadroll into her mouth. I'd never found ingesting baked goods sexy before.

Beside me, Jasper whimpered.

"You're welcome any time, Charlie," Esme said as she patted Jas's shoulder and cleared plates. "Bella's like family, and by extension, so are you. We need to take care of you. Are you sure I can't get you anything else?"

"No, thanks. I should really head home. Got some stuff to catch up on before heading into work tomorrow. I'm sure my deputies are going to make me pay for being away for a week. Best be prepared."

"Well, if you're sure."

"I'd ask my daughter to give me a ride, but I'd hate to drag her away from her food."

Bella stopped chewing and looked up. "You wanna go?" she asked, mouth half full. She looked over at me, and a channel of heat slammed into me with such force, I thought it might knock me off my chair. Bella swallowed and blinked before dragging her attention back to her father. "Uh ... sure, Dad. Let's go."

_No. She can't leave. Not even for short time. No way. There's a limit to my control, and that's it._

Panic hit me like a storm. I kept my calm facade in place, but inside I was raging.

"I'll take the Chief home," Jas said with an edge of desperation in his voice as he stood. "Alice and I were going to head out to a late movie anyway. It'd be no problem. We could go right now. Like, immediately. Right, Alice?"

The glazed look Alice had been wearing for the past few minutes cleared, and she nodded. "Oh, definitely. Right now. No problem. We'd love to get out of here. I mean, give you a ride. Are you ready to go? I'll get the keys."

She disappeared into the kitchen, and Jasper followed. We all stood as the Chief dropped his napkin on the table and made his way to the front door.

As I moved to escort Bella, need and desperation had replaced the blood in my veins, and I struggled to maintain my composure as I gently placed my hand in the small of her back.

She inhaled and leaned back into my touch. Apart from my fingers curling into her, I stayed strong, but my control was fraying rapidly. The magnitude of what would be released when it finally snapped frightened me. Flashes of old insecurities lit my brain. The last time I lost control, I buried my teeth in Bella's neck. I cracked ribs. Broke her spine. Killed her. That night I felt the same tremulous thrill I was feeling now. The edging toward release of restraint and responsibility, and giving myself over to primal urges so powerful, I had no idea of their consequences.

As Charlie and my parents exchanged final pleasantries, my anxiety about being alone with Bella increased. My body was getting warmer by the second, and I genuinely feared something was wrong with me.

"Edward," Alice called from the kitchen, "I'm low on gas. Can I take your car?"

"Yes." _Anything you want, just get the Chief out of here, STAT._

"Where are the keys?"

"On the hook by the basement door."

"Uh, can you come show me?"

Her tone told me she already had the keys but needed an excuse to talk to me.

"Back in a sec," I whispered to Bella and headed into the kitchen.

Jasper had his head down on the counter and wasn't looking well.

"Jas?"

"You're killing me, bro. You really are. First with the lust all through dinner and now with this ... this ... God, I don't even know what it is. Your emotions are like a bipolar hurricane. have a migraine from trying to process it all. I didn't think it was possible for vampires to get migraines."

Alice touched my arm. "What's going on? You look even more intense than usual, and that's saying something. Should I get Carlisle?"

I raked my fingers through my hair and paced. "I don't know. How I'm feeling ... This need I have for Bella. It's beyond anything I've felt before. Like I've imprinted on top of my mating bond."

"It's hideous," Jas muttered.

"This intensity keeps building, seemingly without limits. God, Alice, I feel like I want to consume her in so many more ways than I did when I was a vampire, and that scares the hell out of me. Have you had any visions of us?"

"No, but I work very hard to avoid getting flashes of my brother getting his freak on with his girlfriend. It's wrong and gross."

"Please, Alice, try. I need to know if I'm going to hurt her."

She sighed. "Sometimes being in this family is so screwed up."

"Like Esme inviting Charlie to dinner," Jas said and groaned.

"Or the time Edward went through that whole life-threatening transformation and made us believe he didn't remember who he was. Or Carlisle pretending he was dying." Alice rubbed her temples. "Or my brother asking me to check on his imminent sex marathon. Yep. Nothing wrong with this picture." She concentrated then sighed. "I'm not getting anything. Edward, decide to be rough with Bella."

I closed my eyes and concentrated. Imagined releasing my inhibitions and letting whatever lusty beast now lived inside me have its way. In my fantasy, I shredded clothing. Grasped and kissed and sucked. Gave my hands permission to grip her. Guide her onto me. Thrust until all the pleasure that was screaming in every cell was finally satisfied.

Beside me, I heard a thunking sound. I was pretty sure it was Jasper banging his head against the granite counter.

"Alice?"

"I'm trying. Nothing's happening."

"Try again."

She exhaled. "It's no use, Edward. I'm not even getting flashes. I'm sure if you were going to hurt her, I'd get something."

"Or maybe what's left of the wolf blood in my system is blocking you."

"Can we please go now?" Jas said miserably.

Alice patted his back. "Sure, honey. Then we'll go for a nice long drive so you won't have to be around these two for a while. Maybe to Canada."

She rubbed his back, and he straightened and grabbed the car keys.

"Alice, wait ..."

"Edward, I know you're paranoid about hurting her, but don't be. Follow her lead. She'll let you know what she can and can't handle. Plus, if you are too rough, she's strong enough to lay you on your ass. If you don't trust yourself, then trust her."

I nodded and followed them back to the front door. Bella was wringing her hands and for all the world looked just as anxious as I was.

Poor Jasper was turning paler every second.

Emmett and Rosalie didn't waste any time saying good-night to Charlie, and after my parents said their farewells and Bella hugged her father, I shook his hand. He leaned in and said, "Take care of my daughter, Mr. Cullen. And maybe get your father to check you both out. I'm not a medical type, but you both seem to be running pretty serious fevers. Don't let her get sick."

I nodded and shoved my hands in my pockets as he followed Alice and Jasper out. I was nearly trembling with anxiety, and when I glanced at Bella, she was still avoiding looking at me. A light sheen of sweat lit her forehead.

"Well, Bella," Carlisle said, turning away from the door, "your father's a very nice man. I'm glad we got to spend time with him."

Bella nodded, her shoulders hunched and tense. "Me, too. And as much as I've loved spending time with him, and of course, you guys, I really need you all to leave. Now, please. Sooner, if possible."

Esme laughed and hugged her. "Of course. I'm sorry I kept you from Edward for longer than necessary."

Bella squeezed her. "Oh, you will be." As usual, we were on the same wavelength.

Emmett chuckled. "Yeah, Bells. Show her who's boss."

Esme stepped back and fixed Emmett with what he frequently called her 'bitch brow.' Emmett shrank away and grabbed Rose's hand. "Uh, forget I spoke. Gotta go. See you guys later. Have fun with the sex."

They disappeared, then Esme hugged me and told Carlisle she'd meet him outside. As he turned to leave, Carlisle said, "Don't forget to hydrate, you two. Stay healthy. Be happy. Condoms are in the bathroom."

He closed the door behind him and finally, after a thousand years of frustration, Bella and I were alone.

She turned to me but still wouldn't look directly at me. She took a few steps back, hands clenched at her sides, looking down, and the frown on her face worried me.

"Bella?"

"Edward, I feel really weird."

"Weird, how?"

"Really ... feral. Out of control. It's been getting worse all night. The food was a distraction, but now ..." I stepped forward and her hands tightened. "Don't touch me. I don't know what I'll do."

"It's okay."

"Is it? Feeling like this is ... disturbing. I was going to talk to Carlisle about it before he left, but that would have meant not being alone with you for longer, and at this point, I really wouldn't have coped with that. I need you. But ..."

"But what?"

"I need you in really ... brutal ways. I feel like unless I do things to you, and have you do things to me in return, my skin is going to burst off. It's like I have all this energy and unless it's released, I'm going to go insane."

"I know how you feel."

I stopped in front of her and kept my hands by my sides. If I touched her, whatever strange energy that was crackling between us would explode, and I had no idea what the resulting fallout might be. I needed her to lead this. I was used to suppressing my primal urges. She wasn't.

"What do you want, Bella? Tell me, and I'll give it to you."

She lifted a trembling hand and hooked a finger into the waistband of my jeans.

"Anything?"

"Of course."

"What if I wanted you to let go? To just ... take me, the way you want to. Not careful. Not gentle."

I clenched my hands and closed my eyes. Oh, what I'd give right now to just let loose, but I couldn't. The risk was too great.

"Bella ..."

She grunted and shoved me hard in the chest. I slammed back against the door, surprised and winded.

"Edward, don't say no," she said, her voice filled with quiet fury as she moved toward me, still not looking me in the eye. "Our whole relationship has been based on you holding yourself back. Being terrified of your power. I don't want you to have to do that any more. I want all of you. Every rough, animalistic part."

"But, if I hurt you ..."

She slammed her hand into the door, and it splintered the wood. "Goddammit, you won't! I'm practically indestructible now, or did you miss the memo?"

Her voice was getting louder. Her movements more erratic. She was like a wild animal, unpredictable and dangerous. I'd never been more aroused in my life. The burn of my lust was now a raging inferno.

She paced in front of me. Desperation colored every step. "While I was away, I explored the limits of my new body, and let me tell you, there weren't many. I did things I never thought possible. I ran, and leaped, and punched, and threw really big rocks a really long way. Whatever the wolf blood did to me, I'm celebrating it. I've never felt more alive. Ironic that it took you killing me to get here, but now that I am, I don't want either one of us to have to be careful any more. That was the point of the change, wasn't it? For us to be equals? To make it so you couldn't hurt me again? Well, you can't. But I'd really like to see you try."

She put her hands on my chest and curled her fingers into the muscles. With some effort, I resisted slamming her up against the wall.

She trailed one hand down, over my abs. "You think I don't know what's going through your brain? That I can't see you shaking with the effort of not fucking me roughly?" She reached down to the bulge in my jeans and squeezed firmly. I felt the growl rumbling in my chest before I registered the noise. "Well, here's a news flash: I want to be fucked roughly. Very roughly. Nothing would turn me on more than seeing you become the beast I know you are."

"Bella ..." I grit my teeth and planted my arms by my sides. My fingernails gouged into the wood at my back.

"What?"

"Stop."

"Why?"

"If you keep doing that ..."

"What are you going to do? Get angry? Lose control?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Do it."

I stepped around her and walked into the living room. Her body heat and scent were unstitching me. I tugged at my hair and tried to calm down. In a flash she was in front of me, her hand on my chest again as she pushed me back to the wall. "Stop fighting it, Edward. This is what we are now. Don't you get it? Stop trying to deny your instincts for once. Aren't you tired of always censoring yourself?"

My back hit the wall and within a second, Bella had grabbed the neck of my t-shirt and ripped it open to the waist.

Then her mouth was on me, and I threw my head back with such force, it embedded into the plaster.

"Jesus ... Bella ..."

"Edward, I want to go slow," she said before gripping my hips and kissing my chest. "To touch and stroke you until you think you're going to explode, then calm you down only to torture you all over again, but I have zero patience left."

One hand slipped between us to stroke me, and I couldn't keep my eyes open any more. My mind was swirling, red hot and desperate. If she wanted to strip me of reason and logic, she was doing a bang-up job. I struggled to find a reason to not bend her over the back of the sofa and fuck her, and came up empty.

"Just let go, Edward. You know you want to."

I did want to, more than anything. I was just so used to having to hold myself back, and the thought of giving in to my urges filled me with fear.

"Bella ..."

"You're so hard. Wouldn't you feel better buried inside me?"

"Fuck ..."

"We can do gentle and loving later, but for right now, I need hard and fast. I need rough. I need urgent, and desperate, and bestial. Please tell me you can give me that."

In half a second I'd pushed her away from me and grabbed my phone out of my pocket.

"Edward-"

I held up my finger to silence her then shot off a quick text to Esme. It read, _"Sorry about the house. I promise to fix everything."_

As soon as it was sent, I threw the phone down, tore off the remains of my ruined shirt, grabbed Bella, and shoved her against the wall so hard, the plaster cracked.

Her eyes shadowed with lust and she moaned in approval. "Is that the best you can do?"

"No."

"Then give me more."

Every dark, animalistic instinct I'd been holding in check all day burst forth with savage glee.

My voice was rough and low when I replied, "With pleasure."

I kissed her with an intensity that had us both breathless within seconds. Her taste and smell intoxicated me. Made me blind and ravenous. I tore at fabric. Gripped skin. Kissed down her neck and sucked the thrumming pulse on her neck.

"Bite me," she ordered quietly.

I bared my teeth while reminding myself they were no long razor sharp and coated in venom. I bit down and felt savage satisfaction, powerful and unexpected. Bella moaned and gripped my hair. I added suction, and within seconds I was flat on my back on the floor with her straddling me. She kissed and sucked my neck. Nibbled my chest. Ran her tongue across me until I couldn't take any more and turned the tables.

I shoved her onto her back and pressed heavily between her legs. God, the pleasure. I grabbed her hands and slammed them into the floor. She snarled and struggled. It excited me even more.

I came out of the lust haze long enough to register how fierce she looked beneath me. Eyes wild and bright. Lips swollen. Shirt in tatters and bra exposed. I leaned down and ripped the bra off with my teeth. She gasped and wrapped her legs around my waist as I ground against her and devoured her breasts.

My erection ached fiercely, hard and hot against her. I'd never longed to be inside her more than I did right now. It was more than lust. More, even, than need. It was imperative. Compulsory.

I wrapped my arms around her and lifted to carry her to the living room. My goal was the couch, but I didn't get that far. She bit down on my shoulder, and I slammed her into the bookcase in reaction. It shattered, showering us in novels and expensive knick-knacks. I stumbled until my back hit the wall. Bella's thighs squeezed me so tightly I could barely breathe. I turned so I could press her into the wall and lay my full weight on her, loving how strong and resilient she felt beneath me.

She wasn't frail any more. Far from it.

"Edward ..." She moaned my name in the most desperate way. It made me go into frenzy. I tore at her clothes and ripped them out of the way. She did the same. My jeans came off in pieces. Frantic hands moved quickly, and we rid ourselves of everything between us. When I finally felt only skin beneath my hands, I yanked her leg up to my hip and thrust into her. Not gentle. Not loving.

Needful.

Selfish.

Rough.

I groaned as my hips connected to hers, the length of me finally part of her. One ache replaced with another. I froze as the fever of lust was briefly overcome by intense, brain-numbing relief.

She gazed up at me with wide eyes. She felt it, too. It had never been like this before. There was something else between us. An extra layer of electricity. Neurons fired on impossible levels. Pleasure vibrated in every cell. Even staying perfectly still, I was building to release.

She writhed against me, trying to get me to move. I couldn't. I could barely breathe without fear of climaxing.

I shoved her wrists against the wall and gritted my teeth. "Stop."

She did. I exhaled and closed my eyes. Tried to calm down. I wanted this to last. To make her come. A lot. That was going to be difficult if I orgasmed within thirty seconds.

When I'd pulled myself back from the brink, I began to move. Short thrusts. Back and forth. God, how she felt. The slick warmth. Strong muscles, gripping and squeezing.

Driving me crazy.

"Do you know what Kegels exercises are for?" she asked, her voice strained as she lifted herself and wrapped her legs around my waist.

"Yes." I palmed her ass. Gave myself more leverage. Lengthened my thrusts.

"Did you know I've been doing them three times a day since I left?"

"No."

"Did you know they can drastically increase the ... oh, God ... amount of sexual pleasure for a woman, and by extension, her lover?"

This conversation really wasn't helping my staying power. I was building again, fast. I tried to distract myself by dredging up everything I could remember about Kegels.

"I studied it in medical school. Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles can ... uh ... lead to more powerful vaginal contractions during orgasm." Fuck, she felt like heaven. "The assertion is that ... the accompanying muscular undulation is also highly pleasurable ... _Jesus_ ... for the man while he's ... thrusting."

My thrusts were becoming deeper. Harder. I couldn't help myself. It felt too good.

She pushed down on to me. "Would you like to confirm that theory?"

"Oh, dear God, yes."

She contracted her inner muscles, and sweet Jesus, I'd never felt anything like it. My hips jerked and my legs went weak.

"Fuck."

She did it again, and I hissed as I concentrated on not coming.

"Feel good?" she asked, panting.

"Too good. Do it again."

She did, and I reached between us, determined to have her come before I did. I found the spot that made her grip me and cry out, and I circled my fingers with slow determination.

"Oh, God."

For the first time all night, she looked me in the eye. The power of the emotion in her expression was incredible.

"Edward," she said, breathless. "I love you. God, I love you. I've missed you. I never want to be away from you again."

My throat was too full of emotion to speak, so I kissed her. Showed her my love as I increased my pace. I was rewarded with short, sharp moans, a sign that she was close. Like me, she was racing to the top of the mountain at breakneck speed.

My heart beat for her. My blood rushed, and my body hardened. All for her. Only for her. The soft spark of her skin engulfed me, and I reveled in the burn. She unleashed and enticed me. Called my name with every sinuous movement and low, desperate noise. Brought my whole life down to a tight spotlight that began and ended with her.

"Bella .."

My mind couldn't hold coherent thought. My body existed to do her bidding. My soul was knitted to hers in the most permanent of patterns, and the start and end of all things was shackled to the ache and slide of our interlocking bodies. Outside of us was void. Between us was a universe of sensation that defied definition or explanation. A rightness. Stark, brutal perfection. Pleasure and compulsion and insatiable, clawing need.

I wrapped my fingers in her hair and yanked her head back. Attacked her throat. Grunted as she raked her fingernails across my shoulders. And still, I couldn't get enough. Every thrust was accompanied by a jolt of pure ecstasy. Our hunger for each other was boundless. Vicious, deep, and infinite. I was lost in her. Hands everywhere. Mouths orbiting, exploring. Always drawn back together like the waves returning to the sea.

The power she had over me was complete, and I was grateful for my servitude.

I thrust hard and fast until everything inside me tightened to the point of pain, and then, I felt her come.

_Oh, God._

_Yes, Bella. _

_Jesus, yes._

My brain checked out. My body went into overdrive. She spasmed so strongly, every single pleasure receptor inside me exploded like a metric ton of fireworks. This was an orgasm like I'd never known.

Shattering.

Devastating.

A supernova of sensation.

I buried my fist in the wall as the whole world expanded into a maelstrom of white-hot pleasure, and I was barely aware of Bella moaning my name as my body screamed through so many layers of satisfaction, I couldn't comprehend them all.

I thrust one last time, joining us as deeply as possible as the contractions weakened and died. I slumped against Bella, boneless and spent. She tensed once more before collapsing onto my shoulder. Her breathing was ragged and loud.

I don't know how long we stayed like that. Time was a blur. All I could hear was our rough exhales and the thundering of our hearts.

When I finally felt I could move without falling over, I got us over to the couch. The leather squealed against our sweaty flesh, but neither of us cared. I was still inside her. She was still wrapped around me. Nothing else mattered.

The spark of lust ignited again, and we made slow love on the couch. Then, slightly faster love on the stairs.

After that we got our second wind, and a coffee table, three chairs, and Esme's antique Norwegian sideboard were soundly destroyed. The marble countertops in the kitchen were smashed. The stainless-steel fridge, dented. Three of my bedroom windows were shattered. My door, splintered. The porcelain vanity in the bathroom was reduced to a sharp-edged pile of pieces on the floor.

I was rougher with her than I'd ever imagined I could be, and in return, she punished me with her hands, and teeth, and tongue.

Each time was beyond incredible. Each orgasm, debilitating. The lust between us didn't wane or diminish. Our new bodies barely needed any time to recover.

It was official. Being a hybrid was amazing.

It was only when the sun streamed through my broken windows, that we considered rest.

We showered, wrapped ourselves in clean robes, and crawled into bed.

Bella snuggled against me and yawned. "That was ... unbelievable."

"You could say that."

"You are ..." She shook her head. "I don't even have words. There aren't enough adjectives to describe you. I'm going to have to start making up words, 'cause the ones I have are too lame to encompass your all-powerful amazingness."

I chuckled. "I'm all powerful?"

"Oh, you have no idea. Sweet Holy Mother of Mind-blowing Orgasms. I have to say, this hybrid thing definitely has its perks. I thought we used to have great sex when you were a vamp."

"We did have great sex."

"Yeah, but not compared to this. Now, it's ... once again, I have no words. Plus, you know how you've gotten … bigger, since the change?"

"Well, everyone, including your father, keeps reminding me, so, yeah."

"Well, let me just say, your biceps aren't the only muscles that have increased in size."

I frowned. "What?"

She nodded and ran her palm over the rapidly swelling bulge in my robe. "You heard me. As if you weren't already impressive enough. Thank God I have super-human healing abilities, or let me tell you, I wouldn't be walking straight tomorrow."

I laughed and kissed her before pulling her back to my chest. "For the love of God, don't tell Emmett. He's already champing at the bit to go next. If he knew there were penile size advantages, we'd never hear the end of it."

"Don't worry," she whispered as she stroked me, "I'm keeping this baby all to myself."

I kissed her again and brought her hand back up to my chest. Despite my penis having the stamina of a Kenyan marathon runner, I was failing fast, and I stifled a yawn as Bella snuggled into me.

"Can we do that again tomorrow?" she asked, voice heavy with sleep.

"Yes. And every day, if you like."

"I like. I very much like."

She pushed a hand under my robe so it rested over my heart. I sighed. "I like, too. In fact, I love. You. Forever."

She murmured something unintelligible, but which I took to be, "I love you, too," then her breathing slowed into the steady rhythm of sleep.

I looked down at her. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. My chest tightened with emotion, and for the first time in what seemed like a very long time, I was utterly and completely happy. No pain. No bloodlust. No regrets.

After so many years of destruction and torment, I was finally living the life I'd dreamed of. Blood in my veins. Love in my heart. Joy in my soul. The woman I adored was lying peacefully in my arms, in zero danger of me tearing out her throat and drinking her blood.

Unbelievable.

I pulled Bella tighter against me as I fantasized about all the adventures that awaited us in our new lives. Travel. College. Epic daily lovemaking. The possibilities were endless.

It was only when I was on the verge of drifting off that something Carlisle said earlier went on like a neon sign in my brain:

_"Condoms are in the bathroom."_

_..._

_..._

_..._

* * *

**Hmmm. I wonder if the morning-after pill works on hybrids. Carlisle should Google that.**

**Just a reminder, if you review as a guest and ask me a question, I can't reply. Still, I adore all of your comments, and would love to hear from you if you have a moment to let me know your thoughts.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Kiya x**


	9. Chapter 9

**So sorry to keep you waiting so long on this update, lovelies. My excuse is this: my husband left me. For two months. Granted, it was for work, but still. Being a single parent didn't leave me much time or energy for writing. My apologies.**

**Huge thanks to my amazing Beta-Goddess, Irritable_Grizzzly, and my fabulous pre-reader, Vican. Love you girls so much.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

**Maybe**

I couldn't sleep. Hours and hours of lovemaking had made me more exhausted than I'd ever been, but I couldn't switch off my brain. It was swimming with fantasies of small, chubby hands and brown eyes like Bella's. I found myself smiling. I should have been anxious about the possibility of an unexpected pregnancy, but I wasn't. In fact, I was experiencing something distinctly foreign to me. I suspected it was serenity.

I'd never given much thought to children when I was an immortal. They weren't ever going to be a part of my life, so I didn't waste energy coveting them.

But now ...

Things were different. I was a man again, and the thought of impregnating Bella with my child was a seductive and powerful one. It brought out primal instincts. To mate. Inseminate. Breed.

I'd been living in a world of death for so long, the thought that I could actually create new life was astounding.

I finally dozed off to dreams of a mini version of Bella throwing her arms around me and calling me 'Daddy' while my wife looked on and smiled.

It was the most beautiful dream I'd ever had.

...

...

...

I awoke to a throbbing ache in my groin.

This was nothing new. Morning arousal was one of the annoyances of my reborn humanism, especially when it was accompanied by a need to urinate that was impossible to fulfill.

What was new was the soft, warm hand exacerbating the throb by gently stroking me. Light fingers. Grazing over the thick fabric of my robe. Barely touching but manifesting a storm of lust.

I kept my eyes closed and pretended to be asleep. I was enjoying what she was doing too much to interrupt, and I wanted to see how far she'd go if she believed I was unconscious.

"So sexy," she whispered and trailed her hand up the exposed V of flesh on my chest. She touched me softly, up to my neck, across my jaw, and over my lips. Staying still was nearly impossible, but I did it.

"So beautiful." She traced my forehead, my eyebrows, and down my cheeks. Then back down my neck and chest until she once again brushed over my erection.

"Also, incredibly bad at pretending to be asleep," she said and pressed her lips against the racing pulse on my throat. I fought a smile. Pretty sure the smile won.

"I'm not pretending," I said, eyes still closed. "I'm having a fantastic dream about a beautiful woman pleasuring me. Please be quiet. I'd like to concentrate."

She laughed against my neck then trailed open, sucking kisses down to my chest.

"Hmmm, who is this hussy in your dream? Do you think I could take her?"

She tugged at the tie to my robe, pulled it open, and trailed her hand over the poor, neglected flesh. My breathing and heart rate went berserk.

"Oh, you could take her, all right. No woman could compare to you. Not even fantasy-you."

I opened my eyes and looked down at what she was doing. God, just seeing her fingers curl around me. The firm pressure of her palm. She squeezed, and I let out a sharp breath.

"Bella ... Jesus ..."

I desperately wanted to close my eyes and just enjoy it, but there was no way I could drag my gaze away from her teasing hand. Fingers grazed all around. Gently cupped me. Then her mouth was at my chest. She was kissing and licking. Double-teaming with her hand to turn me into a groaning, panting mess.

"You taste amazing," she said as she trailed kisses down to my stomach. "Salty. Manly. So different to vampire-you, but still delicious."

When her journey of kisses reached my crotch, I stopped breathing. She just hovered there, hot breath washing over me in the most arousing way. It sent my brain into overdrive. On countless occasions, I'd fantasized about what it would feel like to have Bella's mouth around me.

Apart from one or two aborted attempts when I was still a vampire, I'd never truly experienced her skills. Of course, I'd observed them on several occasions when I was unfortunate enough to be lurking outside her window when Jacob was still in the picture, and let me tell you, those moments did nothing to temper my homicidal dislike for him. How that boy survived for as long as he did when the beast still inhabited me, I'll never know.

"God, look at you," Bella whispered, directly to my erection. "Magnificent. Perfect. So beautiful."

She kissed the tip, and I nearly launched off the bed. I wasn't sure I could handle this. It was too erotic. I was too on-edge.

"You want me to stop?" she asked, glancing up.

"Only if you want to crush every fellatio fantasy I've ever had."

"You seem wound up."

"Your mouth is very nearly enveloping my cock. I couldn't be more wound up if I were an uptight bungee cord."

"So, you want me to -"

"Oh, fuck, yes."

"Good. I've wanted to do this for the longest time, and since there's no danger of you rupturing my throat any more..."

She moved down and licked me from base to tip. I gripped the mattress so hard, my fingers punctured the sheets and several layers of padding. She continued licking long strokes up and down and looked up every few seconds to make sure I was watching.

I was watching, all right. I'd never witnessed anything so sensual. I grunted against the urge to come. Lord, her tongue. Her eyes. The whole astounding combination.

This was entirely new to me. When she'd put her mouth on me previously, I was so paranoid about hurting her, I couldn't fully give myself over to the pleasure. Now, the sensation owned me. Suffused and surrounded me. Every tiny pass of her tongue drove me higher. Filed the pleasure down into sharp, debilitating barbs that made me twitch and gasp.

In my wildest dreams, I'd never imagined anything could feel this good, and yet, as incredible as her tongue was, it faded into pale insignificance as soon as she took me into her mouth.

Oh ...

I couldn't ...

I'd never ... Oh ...

Wow ...

"Fuuuuuck."

I had to close my eyes. The image of what she was doing was crippling. I weaved my fingers through her hair and flung my other arm over my face. She bobbed and sucked. Caressed me with mouth and hand. Throat. Tongue. The slightest graze of teeth.

Christ, how did I survive for as long as I have without experiencing this? Sure Tanya had pleasured me orally. Once. It was hideous. She acted like an anorexic being force-fed a hot dog. I think she did it because she felt she should. Bella was doing it because she really wanted to. She wanted to pleasure me in the same way I was always ravenous to taste her. And, oh, she was so, so good at it.

It didn't take long for my climax to build. I wished it away for a long as possible, but with Bella's mind-blowing skills, that was a woefully short period of time.

I urged her off me and exhaled.

"You're close?" she asked.

"Very."

"Do you want to ... uh ... you know ... finish? In my mouth?"

Oh, God.

I exhaled harder. My climax was teetering like a drunk on a highwire.

"Edward?"

"Shhhh." I inhaled, slow and somewhat controlled. "Everything you say right now is stupidly arousing. Just ... shhh, and don't touch me."

I lay there, tense and rigid for what seemed like an eternity. Even with my eyes closed and no part of my body touching hers, Bella's presence continued to inflame me. I could feel her body heat. Smell her shampoo and body lotion. Feel her eyes covet me as I gently squeezed my cock and urged it to not explode.

"Oh, yeah," she whispered. "Do that again. So sexy."

"Woman ... ssh!"

I took in a few more steadying breaths and coaxed my climax to stand down then opened my eyes. Bella was staring at me with unnerving intensity.

"Better?" she asked.

"A little."

"Good enough."

She climbed on top of me and proceeded to kiss my neck and chest while rubbing herself against me in an impossibly arousing way. It was clear she was done being patient.

"Uh ... Bella ..."

She ignored me. Her mouth was everywhere. She tugged at her robe as she kissed me, and when she sat up to pull it off, I was rendered speechless. Seeing her straddling me, naked and desperate, was as close to a spiritual experience as a filthy God-hater like me was likely to get.

She leaned forward to slowly allow me a full and magnificent view of her breasts. I swallowed excess saliva and cleared my throat.

"Bella, we need to talk about something ..."

"Later," she said and reached between us to stroke me. "Much, much later."

"We ... uh ... should really talk now."

"We're busy now."

She nibbled my chest. I nearly lost all coherence, but I knew we couldn't continue to make love without discussing this.

"Bella, last night -"

"Was amazing. Today is going to be even better. God, I love your body. Your perfect, gorgeous cock. I love you."

Oh, sweet Jesus. She was licking. And nibbling. And doing something else with her hand. And rocking back just enough so I could feel her, hot and wet against me.

"It was amazing, yes," I said, and groaned. "Jesus, you are ..." I tried to focus. "But I ... I forgot to ... well, I was supposed to use protection, and I ... forgot. You made me forget. Thinking back ... it was ... oh, damn ... it was kind of all your fault." She circled my nipple with her tongue. "Definitely your fault."

She kissed me, hard. When she pulled back, I was breathless and aching for her. I couldn't cope not being joined with her any longer, but we had to solve this issue. She had other ideas. I held my breath as she hovered over me.

"Bella ..."

"It's okay," she said while teasing me to the point of distraction. "I take the shot. I'm covered. Don't panic."

Then she lowered herself onto me. Slowly.

"Ohhhhhh ..."

Every excruciating inch showed on her face and no doubt on mine as well. All coherent thoughts dissolved in a flash of reason-stealing astonishment. We stared into each other's eyes as our bodies contracted and pulsed with both pleasure and intense relief.

"God, I love you."

"Edward ..."

My name was barely a breath on her lips. She rocked back and forth, taking me in a little more each time, inch by inch, until finally, bliss. She settled fully onto me and my whole world was the squeeze and pulse of where we were joined. The indescribable perfection of being inside her.

"Bella ..."

She leaned over and kissed me, and I brushed my hands up her thighs until they settled on the curve of her hips. She moved, just a little. Just enough. Scratching the itch of lust while igniting the fuse of release. Each slide a little longer. Deeper. Needful. Determined.

"Bella, wait ..."

"I can't. Oh ... I need you."

Logic told me to slow her movements, but I couldn't. The pleasure she was taking from me was too magnificent.

"The shot," I said, broken and breathy. "We don't even know if it will... uh ... be effective with your new ... metabolism. There are ... condoms ... in the bathroom. We should ... ohhhh ..."

She put her hands on my shoulders to give herself more leverage. As if I could cope with her riding me harder.

"Bella ..." If she could hear me, she was ignoring me. "The shot may not work."

It was no use. She was hurtling toward her orgasm and taking me with her. I stopped resisting and pushed my hips up to meet her. She cried out and moved faster. The tension in my abdomen tightened and flared. I knew the sensible thing would be to pull out and avoid further risk, but I just couldn't. The thought of separating us was distressing. I wanted her to make me come, and I wanted to come inside her.

I wanted it as savagely as I used to want blood.

I grunted as her orgasm hit her, and when she threw her head back and screamed my name, I finally let go. Like our lovemaking last night, the pleasure was incomprehensible. Muscles contracted and fluttered as pleasure overcame us, rendering us a messy tangle of twitching limbs and tight-throated moans. Time slowed. I could feel every inch of my skin. Every exploding neurone. Everything screamed Bella's name. I may have, as well.

For the longest time, the room seemed to contract around us. Then we simultaneously exhaled as final spasms twisted in on themselves and faded. Bella went limp and collapsed onto my chest. I closed my eyes and stroked her back.

Lord, this woman. I'd never get tired of this. Never want anyone but her. Always need her to be part of me.

Always.

After a few minutes our breathing had calmed, and she stroked my chest and cleared her throat.

"Were you talking at me during that?"

"Yes."

"And you expected me to listen?"

"I thought I should at least try."

"Why?"

"I needed to tell you something."

"What?"

"That there's no guarantee a traditional dosage of the Depo-provera shot would have any effect on your new metabolism."

"Uh huh."

She went silent, and I wondered if she'd fallen asleep.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm?"

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Yes."

"I'm telling you that even though you're on a contraceptive, it may be completely useless."

"I know what you said. I'm just trying to process it without freaking out."

"Is it working?"

"Not even a little bit."

She climbed off me and pulled on her robe. Her hands shook as she tied the belt

"Bella?"

She ran her hands though her hair. "I'm okay."

"You don't look okay."

"I just ... wow. I mean ... wow."

"We should probably call Carlisle."

"Yes. Good. Call the doctor. He'll do, what? Give me a, you know, test, thingy."

"Well, it's probably too soon for a traditional test, but I'm sure he could come up with something. An indicator to see if you're ..."

"Pregnant." She stopped short and giggled to herself. It was strident and filled with near-hysteria.

"Bella, we don't know anything yet. Don't panic."

"Don't panic? Edward, over the past twelve hours, we've fucked like nymphomaniac rabbits, and for that entire time I was unconcerned because I figured I was covered. But now you tell me my uterus has been bombarded by your superhuman hybrid-sperm completely unprotected?! I'm pretty sure this is the time to panic! Why aren't you panicking?"

"Bella -"

"I could be pregnant!"

"I know, but -"

"Right now!"

"Well, yes. Technically, depending on the number of sperm in my ejaculate and the proximity of a viable egg to your fallopian tubes, you could have been pregnant half an hour after we first made love last night. Maybe sooner if my hybrid sperm are faster than the human variety, which, I'm pretty sure they are. I have no proof, of course. I'm just hypothesizing based on the other improvements the wolf-blood has rendered on my anatomy."

She glared at me. I decided to stop talking.

"Get Carlisle here," she said and strode toward the bathroom. "Now!"

...

...

...

Bella was quiet. I held her hand as Carlisle bustled around with his blood and urine samples.

"I even reminded you before I left," Carlisle said and threw me a disapproving look.

"I know. It's just that at the time, it was very difficult to think clearly."

Carlisle shook his head. "Do you know how much you sound like a regular teenage boy, right now? 'I forgot'. 'It was only one time'. 'I thought she was protected'."

"Carlisle -"

"No, Edward. It's not good enough. Sex has consequences, and I've seen enough of them in my time to get frustrated with young men who let their libidos override their brains. I honestly thought you had more sense."

I heard a muffled sob from upstairs. Pretty sure Esme had just discovered the extent of the damage Bella and I had caused to the house.

"It wasn't all his fault," Bella said. "I thought about condoms but didn't even consider that the Depo wouldn't work. I got it done before the change. It was stupid of me."

Carlisle softened. "Well, considering you two were in the clutches of intense mating haze, I understand that logic can get lost in the heat of the moment. And really, I should have predicted this outcome and made sure I administered an adjusted shot, just to be sure. I've ordered some to be delivered later today so I can rectify that. Assuming, of course, that you don't want children right now."

"No!" Bella said. "Absolutely not."

A block of ice settled in my stomach.

I don't know how I expected Bella to react to a possible pregnancy, but I didn't think she would be so devastated. Then I realized that was a typical male reaction. For us, impregnation is a swift and intensely pleasurable experience. For the woman, it represented an entire life-changing paradigm shift. I was being selfish thinking some part of her might be happy to be carrying my child, but I still felt disappointed.

"Bella, I'm sorry. This is all my fault."

"No. It's my fault, too. I was stupid. And horny. And now ..."

She shook her head.

I wrapped my arms around her, and my heart ached when she shook with a suppressed sob. I despised seeing her upset, especially when I could have, should have, done something to prevent it.

"Hey, it's going to be okay," I said, softly. "Whatever happens, we'll be fine."

"I'm sure that's what my parents thought when my Mom became pregnant with me at nineteen. Look what happened to them."

"That's not going to be us."

"Are you sure? They loved each other. Maybe not as much as we do, but still ... I was the one who ruined their relationship. Neither of them was ready for a baby. It tore them apart."

I pulled back and cupped her face. "I don't believe for one second you were responsible. But regardless, is anyone truly ready for a baby?"

"I know, but ..."

"Yes?"

She sighed. Sounding shaky and uneven, she said, "I'm nineteen, Edward. I've never gone anywhere or seen anything. I have a small-town high school education and exactly seventy-three dollars in my bank account. What on earth could I possibly offer a child? What could I teach them?"

I kissed her. "You truly don't understand what an incredible woman you are, do you?"

"I'm not incredible. I'm ... ordinary. And unrefined. And selfish. And poor. I'd be a terrible parent."

I marveled over her lack of self-awareness and took her hands.

"Bella, I've been alive for a very long time. Well, actually, I've existed for a long time. I didn't feel alive until I met you, and I wasn't truly alive until recently, but my point is this: I've witnessed a lot in my time. Two world wars, dozens of other conflicts, and more technological advances than I can count. But through it all, I've learned one thing: a person's worth has nothing to do with what they have and where they've been, and everything to do with who they are."

She tried to smile. "Money can't buy happiness, huh?"

"Exactly. But more than that, it doesn't make you a good person, and it definitely doesn't make you a good parent. I've known men rich enough to buy and sell countries who viewed their children as mere assets, and I've seen a homeless man give a starving dog the only food he possessed. Even if you're money-poor, you can be rich in so many other ways."

I leaned my forehead onto Bella's and stroked her cheek. "Besides, I have more money than the reserve bank of America, so I never want you to worry about being poor, okay?"

She tried to smile, but it came out like a grimace. I hated seeing her struggle to hold in her emotions.

I kissed her, tender and slow. She exhaled against my lips, and I'd like to think I calmed her a little.

"I love you, Bella," I said and urged her to look at me. "You're brave, and intelligent, and witty, and loving, and frankly, the most magnificent woman I've ever encountered. If you were to pass any of those characteristics on to a child, the world would be a better place. I have no doubt about that. I also have no doubt you would be an incredible mother. And incidentally, I can't wait to start a family with you, but only when you're ready."

For a moment, she just stared at me, and then, she did a strange thing where she laughed and cried at the same time. Seeing a single tear run down her cheek, I felt my tear ducts give out in sympathy. I swiped the tear away. I didn't cry. Well, up until recently I couldn't, but still ...

Bella wiped my cheek with her thumb. "Was that a tear?"

"No."

"It was, too."

"I don't cry."

"Obviously, you do."

"It was one tear. Hardly crying."

She stroked my cheek. It was hot and red.

"It's been a long time since that happened, huh?"

I sighed. "Yes. I'm used to my tear ducts being purely decorative. I don't know how I feel about them overflowing without permission. It doesn't seem very manly."

"I think it's very manly."

"My human father wouldn't have agreed. In his time, men were expected to be stoic and strong."

"You are strong. And you've never been sexier to me."

"Really?"

"Oh, my God, yes. A man who isn't afraid to cry? Get in me, now."

Carlisle cleared his throat. I'd almost forgotten he was there. Obviously, so had Bella.

"Just joking, C," she said. "No more P in V until I get a big old injection of D, because even if your son is going to be my baby-Daddy one day, I'm really hoping that day isn't today."

Carlisle chuckled. "I have no idea what you just said, but I get the general idea."

I pulled Bella onto my lap, and we sat there silently for a while, lost in thought.

"So, I'm definitely going to be your baby-Daddy one day, huh?"

"Yes."

"And if that turns out to be today?"

She took a deep breath. "Then I'll step up and be the best mom I can be."

"And if you're not pregnant?"

She exhaled. "Then I'll enjoy having protected, increasingly kinky, responsibility-free sex with you for a few more years."

I stroked her back, and she sighed. I knew that whatever the outcome, she'd be fine. We'd deal with it together.

Carlisle turned to us. "These results are going to take some time, so if you want to go and do something else ... you're more than welcome. Maybe help Esme clean up your mess."

"How long will it take?" Bella asked.

"I'll have analyzed your hormone levels in a few hours, but I'll need more samples to compare, so we should have some idea by the end of the day."

"That long?"

"Usually it takes a few days for the hormone levels to spike, but I'm predicting it will take less time for you."

"Okay, well, I guess we could go help Esme."

"You help, Esme," I said. "If I go anywhere near her, I'm pretty sure she'll ruin my pretty, new organic body."

Bella squeezed my bicep. "Can't have that."

Before we could leave, Alice walked in hand-in-hand with Jasper.

"Morning, sweet hybrids. How's the pregnancy scare going?"

"Scary," said Bella.

"Well, dear sister-in-law, worry no longer. You don't need to wait for the test results. You're not pregnant."

"What?"

"What?" Carlisle echoed. "You had a vision?"

"Yep. Short and fuzzy, but a vision nonetheless."

Bella and I stood. "What did it show?"

"I don't think I should say. It was kind of disgusting." She screwed up her face.

"Alice."

"Fine. It showed you two trying to get pregnant. Over and over again. Sometimes, in really strange positions with very kinky sex toys. I vomited in my mouth a little."

"Trying to get pregnant?" Bella said. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. It was a couple of years in the future. Don't say anything to Emmett and Rose, but I got a glimpse of their future as well, and, you guys ..." She beamed. "They had the cutest little boy you've ever seen. Dark, curly hair like Em, but blue eyes, like Rose's. Well, human Rose. Completely adorable. Just like his Aunt Alice."

Carlise frowned. "So, we'll be able to reproduce?"

"Seems like it. Although, Bella and Edward will have a little trouble."

He smiled. "Wait until Esme hears about this. It might actually make her forget about all the damage to the house. Maybe." His smiled faded as he looked around the lab and slumped. "But, Alice, as grateful as I am to hear this news, I have to tell you, experiments are far less fun when one knows the eventual outcome."

"Sorry, pops. But I knew Bella was stressing, so I thought I'd let her know."

"I guess I could investigate why impregnation hasn't occurred. Perhaps the shot worked. Or the change fatigued Edward's reproductive system."

"Or," Jasper said, "Edward spanked the monkey so much before Bella got home, he didn't have any sperm left."

"Hmmm," Carlisle said and nodded. "Interesting theory. I wonder if the wolf regeneration affects sperm production. I'll get back to analyzing Edward's fertility. The sample of his ejaculate should almost be ready for testing."

"Oh, joy," I said and rubbed my eyes. I loved it when the subject of my ejaculate was brought up in casual conversation.

"There you go," Alice said, smiling. "Experiments are still necessary. The world is a wonderful place again."

"God, yes," Bella said.

A knot of disappointment curled in my stomach, but I tried not to let it show. Bella was relieved, and I was relieved for her, and yet ...

Now that the seed of fatherhood had been planted in my brain, I was impatient for it to reach fruition.

"You okay?" Bella asked. She knew my moods too well.

"Yep. Fine. You?"

"Fine."

I composed myself and pulled her against me. "Well, now that we have an answer, do you want to get out of here?"

Upstairs, I heard Esme chanting, _"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him."_

"Uh, yeah," Bella said as she grabbed my hand. "Maybe we should go for a run. You know, put some distance between you and your mother."

We headed up the stairs and quickly exited the back door.

_"Edward!"_ Esme called from an upstairs window.

"Bella ruined the bathroom!" I said as Bella slapped my arm. "That mess is all hers! Be angry at her, too! It wasn't all me!"

"But most of it was!" Bella added. "Your son's an animal!"

I could still hear Esme swearing as we dashed into the forest.

...

...

...

Bella and I sprinted through the trees. I was impressed with her speed. For someone who hadn't been at all physically fit before the change, her reflexes and technique were extraordinary. I kept pace with her but tried to make it look harder than it was.

She gave me a knowing look. "Oh, you think you can outrun me? I've been practicing, you know. Every day."

I laughed. "Don't challenge me. I don't want to destroy your ego, but I will if I have to."

"Always have to be the fastest, don't you?"

"Don't have to be. Just am."

"Then come on, cheetah-boy, give me your best shot. First one to the lake wins."

"Wins what?"

"Whatever you like."

That was an offer too good to refuse. "Say the word."

"Go!"

She pulled away and swerved in front of me. I let her. I was barely breaking a sweat. Plus, I really enjoyed ogling her ass as she ran. She was wearing a skirt today, and it flew up every now and then, giving me a tantalizing flash of panties. My jeans were suddenly too tight.

She headed west, and I followed. I figured I'd bide my time and pass her at the last minute. At least she'd spend most of the run believing she was faster than I was. Let her dream.

We ducked and weaved, and every now and then she'd laugh, high on the exhilaration of speed. This was new to her. For years I'd used running as therapy for my miserable existence. Now, she was using it as a celebration of her new self. Our new beginning.

I could get on board with that.

I could smell the lake miles before I could see it. In front of me, Bella slowed. I could have used the opportunity to speed around her, but when she stopped and turned to me, eyes dark with lust, I screeched to a halt.

In a second, she was on me. She shoved me back against a large pine while kissing me and tugging my hair, unbuttoning my shirt, pulling at my jeans. I was hard and breathless within seconds. Aggressive-Bella was one of her most arousing incarnations, and considering she made me insane with desire by simply existing, that was saying something.

"I can't even tell you how much you turn me on," she said and rubbed me through the denim. "I want you, all the time. More specifically, right now."

She began unbuttoning my jeans.

"Uh ... okay, so, we're done racing, then?"

"Shhhh." She roughly tugged down my jeans, followed closely by my underwear. Then she palmed me, and any notion of racing was completely forgotten. How could her hand feel so much better than my own? It was only a palm and fingers, and yet, hers felt like warm heaven.

She squeezed and stroked me, and I closed my eyes as my head fell back against the tree. This was an unexpected turn of events, but I certainly wasn't complaining.

I should have known she was up to something.

Within a second, her hand was gone, and she whispered, "Sucker!" before a rush of air hit me as she dashed away.

I opened my eyes to see her disappear in a blur between the trees.

"Are you ...? What was ...? YOU FILTHY CHEATER!"

I yanked up my boxers and jeans and tried to fasten them as I took off. It wasn't easy. There was too much of me and not enough denim. I didn't bother buttoning my shirt, and it flapped noisily around me as I kicked into high gear. I could hear her laughing in front of me, but by the time I'd caught up, she was standing at the edge of the lake wearing her smuggest smile.

"That wasn't fair," I said as I stalked over to her.

"It's not my fault you're so easily distracted."

I grabbed her and within a second had lifted her skirt and torn off her underwear. I touched her with sure fingers that made her gasp in surprise and pleasure.

"Pretty sure I could distract you so much you couldn't walk, let alone run," I whispered. "Then we'll see who wins a race back to the house, shall we?"

Her eyelids fluttered, and she grabbed my shoulders. Her legs gave out. "Ohhhh ... uhhhhh ... "

She sagged against me as I circled my fingers, firm and fast. Within seconds, I'd found every spot that made her squirm and moan. I brought her to the edge quicker than ever before and reveled in the power I had over her body.

"Edward, uh ..."

Just before she came, I stopped and kissed her neck. She tried to rub against me, to grant herself release. I prevented her.

"Please," she said, panting and restless.

"Admit you're a cheat."

"Yes. I am. A dirty, filthy cheat."

"Admit I'm the fastest and the best."

"God, yes. The best. Always."

"Beg me to make you come."

"Please. Oh, please ..."

"I don't think you really want it."

"Edwaaaard! Pleeeease ..."

Her pleading undid me, and I complied. It didn't take much. She convulsed and gripped me as her eyes rolled back into her head when her orgasm hit her. I watched in wonder. I'd never get tired of seeing her like this. Magnificent and radiant in her abandon. Apoplectic with pleasure. All because of me.

Only me.

She shuddered and fell against me, limp and listless. I scooped her into my arms and carried her to the edge of the lake where I sat on a large rock and cradled her as we watched the sun on the water until she gave a deep sigh.

"You don't play fair," she said, her voice rough with satisfaction.

"And yet, you still won."

"That's true."

She pushed her face into my neck and inhaled then snuggled into me. We watched a flock of birds circle over the lake. Bella traced circles on my chest, and I sighed in contentment.

"Are you okay about me not being pregnant?" she asked quietly.

"Of course."

"Really? Because back at the house you seemed kind of ... upset."

I thought for a moment. "I'm not going to lie and say I'm not disappointed, but I'm glad you weren't forced into something you're not ready for."

She nodded and ran her nose along my jaw. "You know, I've never really thought about having kids. I mean, I love them, but it was always something that people who were less selfish and more responsible did. And older. But now, with you ..."

She pulled back and ran her fingers through my hair. "How could I not want to pass along the genetic awesomeness that is you? I should be committed to reproducing a little army of future Edwards, so women in the next generation can get themselves some of this finery."

I laughed and pulled her in for a kiss. "So, how many little Edwards are we talking about?"

"Oh, I don't know. At least a dozen. It depends on how resilient my hybrid uterus is."

I lifted her hair away from her neck and planted a kiss there. "Oh, after the past twenty-four hours, I can attest to it being extremely resilient." I kissed her neck again and tried to ignore how much my erection was aching to be inside her.

"Hmmm. You need to stop that," she whispered, "or I'll forget why we can't have sex right now."

"We can't?" I said and kissed down to her collar bone.

"Well, until I Carlisle gives me an adjusted shot, there's still a chance of pregnancy, right?"

Her throat smelled amazing. Tasted even better. I trailed my mouth all over it. "Alice's visions are fallible, I suppose. We could use a condom."

"Do you have one with you?" He voice was getting breathier every second.

"No."

"Damn. Doesn't mean we can't do other stuff, I guess."

"Of all the true things in the world, that is the truest."

She grabbed the back of my head and pulled me down to kiss her. I did so happily. Her mouth was so soft. Delicious in a distinctly Bella way. Her own arousing flavor.

We kissed for long minutes. Then she pushed me down onto the flat rock and proceeded to anoint every inch of my chest with her mouth. I have no idea how long it lasted. Time was a blur of kissing, licking, and crumbling rock beneath my fingers. This time when she pulled down my jeans and underwear, there was no disappearing and running off. Only the sweet heaven of her mouth, bringing me to edge of climax, time and again, before dragging me into a freefall of spinning, exploding pleasure.

For the longest time, I was caught up in the spasms of orgasm. I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned through the absolute power of it, only vaguely aware of Bella still touching me. Urging every last ounce of ecstasy out of me.

Afterward, when I'd regained a semblance of coherence, we stripped down and swam in the lake. Well, I swam. Bella doggy paddled. It was both adorable and hilarious. She didn't think so, and slapped at me when I couldn't stop laughing. Apparently she'd never been fond of the water, even when living in Arizona. I tried to teach her the basics of freestyle but found her nakedness way too distracting to maintain any real concentration. Fortunately, she felt the same way. After some frantic underwater groping, I vowed to teach her to swim another day.

When the sun began to sink, we pulled on our clothes and jogged toward home. We were ravenous for some of Esme's delicious food.

We'd just stepped in the back door when Carlisle called to us. Heading downstairs when there were mouth-watering smells coming from the kitchen wasn't easy, but we did it. I think we were both secretly avoiding confronting Esme.

When we entered the basement, Carlisle was filling a syringe with a milky substance, and he beckoned Bella over to lie down on the gurney.

"On your stomach, please."

"This is the adjusted Depo shot?" Bella asked as she pulled down the top of her skirt and exposed the upper portion of her left buttock.

"Yes. Arrived a short time time ago."

"That was quick."

"I have a very good courier service."

"I'm sure."

Carlisle swiped Bella's skin with antiseptic then said, "This shouldn't hurt too much," as he injected deep into the muscle.

"There we go," he said as he fixed a Band-Aid over the area. "From my calculations, you should be fully covered now, although to be safe, you might consider using condoms for the next twenty-four hours. I'm not certain how your body will metabolize this."

"Thanks, Carlisle."

"You're welcome."

He turned to me. "And I've just completed the initial analysis of your ejaculate, Edward."

"And?"

"Well, I can see why Alice saw you having problems getting pregnant."

"I'm infertile?"

"Not exactly. While the concentration of sperm is unusually high, the sperm's motility rate is poor."

"What does that mean?" Bella asked.

"Well, the sperm are hyper-stimulated. They're so desperate to fertilize an egg, they're practically paralyzed."

"They're swimming abnormally?" I asked.

"Yes. This could be for a number of reasons, but my theory right now is that the trauma of the change, plus the genetic mutation of vampire and wolf physiology, has confused them."

"So, I'm shooting blanks," I said.

"In the short term, yes, but that's not to say as your body adjusts to its new state, motility won't improve. And I certainly think we should continue administering Bella's contraceptive shot, just in case."

I felt deflated. Avoiding a pregnancy scare was one thing. Being unable to propagate one was another. It filled me with a savage need to try doubly hard. I had the strongest urge to bend her over the gurney and fuck her roughly.

Come to think of it, I couldn't really blame that on needing to prove my masculinity. I always had that urge.

"Now, why don't you two have dinner?" Carlisle said and returned to his tests. "I'm sure you're starved, and I know Esme has something she wants to discuss with you."

"Does it involve murdering me?" I asked.

Carlisle smirked. "Not that I'm aware of, but your mother doesn't always tell me of her homicidal plans."

Bella and I emerged from the basement, starving and wary, but Esme was nowhere to be seen. The kitchen was deserted. Heavenly aromas drew us into the dining room where a buffet of enough food to feed a football team was waiting.

"Oh, wow," Bella said and swallowed. "My mouth just squirted everywhere."

I exhaled. "I shouldn't find that arousing, but I do."

"Be aroused later. Now, we eat."

"I can't do both?"

"Oh, yeah. Let's do that."

We sat down and ate like we were starving. Plate after plate of food disappeared, and throughout, I tried to keep my attention on the food and not how sensually decadent Bella looked eating it.

It wasn't easy.

After dinner, we cleared the plates and stacked the dishwasher. Well, Bella stacked the dishwasher. I watched. Each time she bent over, I got harder, until I couldn't take it any more and shoved her back against the refrigerator.

"Took you long enough," she said and scraped her nails over my scalp.

I pulled her legs up around my waist and pressed against her so hard, the metal door buckled. "Please shut up and kiss me."

She did. Hard. I palmed her breasts. Kissed down her neck. Bit down on the juncture between her neck and shoulder until her fingernails dug into my shoulders.

Things were just starting to get x-rated when a throat cleared behind us.

We turned to see Esme with two suitcases in front of her. Alice was there, too, as well as Emmett and Rose. At the entrance to the living room, Jasper was leaning against a wall, alternating between groaning and glaring at us.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I'm kicking you out," Esme said.

"What? Why?" I placed Bella on her feet. A perfect impression of her back was left in the stainless steel fridge. "Is this because of the damage?"

"No. Well, kind of. It's partly because I need to repair the house, and knowing how you two are, I want to ensure it stays repaired."

"We can be more careful," Bella said. "Really."

"Really?" said Esme as she eyed the misshapen metal.

Bella slumped. "No. What can I say? I have a thing for rough and destructive right now. So does Edward."

I shrugged. It was true.

"The thing is," Esme said, "we all know what it's like to be in the clutches of the mating bond. Add to that you also have some weird wolf imprinting thing happening, and I'm predicting either more demolition or an uncomfortable amount of outdoor sex."

The events of our afternoon came back to me.

_Hmmmm. Outdoor sex._

Esme snapped her fingers in front of my face.

"Sweetheart," she said, "I understand it's hard to get enough of each other right now, and I figured you'd like some privacy to enjoy yourselves for a while. So I've packed your bags and -"

"She's letting you have Isle Esme!" Alice blurted. She was beaming.

Esme sighed. "You're such a surprise ruiner, Alice."

"Seconded," said Carlisle as he walked over and put his arm around his wife.

Alice just continued to smile.

"I don't get it," I said. "You two never let us kids have the island. Not by ourselves, anyway. When you let Em and Rose stay there for their honeymoon, you insisted on going with them."

"Yes," Esme said and rubbed her eyes."A decision I will forever regret. Some things can never be unseen."

"We thought you were hunting!" Emmett said.

"Obviously," Carlisle said. "I'll never look at a whisk the same way again."

Alice snorted. Rose face-palmed.

"Anyway," Esme said and turned back to me. "I feel bad about how I treated you yesterday when Charlie was here, and after talking to Carlisle, he suggested some alone-time might be good for you both. I agree. So do your brothers and sisters."

"Absolutely," Jasper said. "Alone time. Elsewhere. Far, far away from me."

"But, the house on the island," I said. "It's probably going to get ... you know ... ruined."

"I know. But I figure it's due for renovation anyway. As long as you don't destroy anything structural, it'll give me a good excuse to completely gut it."

Bella frowned. "Are you sure? I mean, you won't freak out if we annihilate it? 'Cause that's kind of likely."

"It's fine," Esme said with a smile. "I've asked Lupe to remove some of my more valuable pieces, but everything else can be collateral damage."

"How long can we stay there?"

"As long as you like."

"As long as it takes for all this hideous uber-lust to fade," Jasper muttered. "Please."

"That could be a while," I said.

Jas smiled. "Take your time."

Alice slapped him. "We'll miss you, of course, but you should go and enjoy yourselves. A lot. I've packed stuff for you, Bella. Pretty, lacy, sexy stuff. Edward, you're going to go insane."

Jasper scoffed.

"Well, more insane," Alice added.

"What about the transformations?" I asked Carlisle. "Will you continue them while we're away?"

"No. I've been doing some research into the protein strands which I believe are pivotal in the transformation, and I think that if I can isolate them and synthesize a concentrated serum, I may be able to make the change faster and less painful. But it's going to take time. A month or so, at least."

Beside me, Bella was thrumming with excitement. "Well, if you're sure."

Esme nodded. "We are. You've both earned this."

Thinking back on everything we'd enduring over the past twelve months, I agreed with her.

I squeezed Bella's hand. "When do we leave?"

"Now, if you like. I've called Howard and arranged for the plane to be fueled, and a boat is booked in Rio. The staff is preparing the house as we speak. You can call Charlie when you get there to let him know you're on vacation. We'll take care of him while you're gone."

I didn't need any further urging. I grabbed the suitcases, and everyone followed us out to the garage. I chose the Porsche. Right now, I needed speed. Plus, I'd always had a fantasy about fucking Bella on the hood. Tonight, I was going to make that a reality.

After saying our good-byes to my family we headed out, and the feeling of anticipation that filled me was deep and thrilling.

"Bella, let me ask you this," I said as I sped down toward the highway. "Ever had sex on a Porsche?"

She smiled and stroked my thigh. "No. Am I going to?"

"Fuck, yes. And on a plane, and on a boat, and on every inch of a beautiful, tropical island where the sand is like diamonds and the sea is the color of sapphires. In fact, pretty much anywhere the whim takes me. That okay with you?"

She palmed my crotch, and the steering wheel groaned beneath my grip. "More than okay. It's perfect. Ready when you are."

I floored the accelerator and hoped like hell Bella's father, or one of his deputies, wasn't paroling the highway tonight. Things were finally going my way, and I aimed for that to continue.

The cost of fueling a private plane to fly to South America? $34,000. Chartering a luxury yacht? $12,000. Having a practically indestructible Bella to myself for an indefinite amount of time?

Priceless.

...

...

...

* * *

**So, my darling readers, that's where I'm going to leave our happy couple for the foreseeable future. The thing is, I had a whole other subplot outlined, and if I went down that track, this fic would have turned into another full-length saga, and my original fic projects would have been put on the backburner for another six months. Even my inner procrastinator vetoed that idea. I hope you understand.**

**Thank you so much for taking this journey with WindowWard and Bella. No doubt their future is filled with massive amounts of sex and happiness, and a whole new world awaits the Cullen family when they all achieve their transformations.**

**Much love to all of you. WindowWard sends his eternal affection and gratitude.**

**Kiya x**


End file.
